C'est la Vie
by CJzilla
Summary: Jimmy Two-Shoes. Disgruntled by his relationship with Jez, Lucius Heinous VII isn't in the mood for more misery in his life. But suddenly, Heloise, catches his eye. Rated "T" for alcohol and innuendos.
1. Misery In Miseryville

Hello to everyone from Tokyo to London! CJzilla here smashing out another story, this time about Jimmy Two-Shoes. Now, this one, I will be doing things a little different than my normal MO. I'll be doing more experimenting with my storytelling and writing technique than usual. Please, enjoy.

_Synopsis: Disgruntled by his relationship with Jez, Lucius Heinous VII isn't in the mood for more misery in his life. But suddenly, Heloise, his head inventor, catches his eye. Thunderstruck by this revelation, Lucius begins to play a secret game with the girl: courting her without her knowledge. But... how long can he keep up this charade? Lucius must hide his fascination with Heloise or risk giving himself away. Things get even harder when Heloise starts to catch on._

As I rampage through this city, alls CJzilla has to roar is this: R&R! Love on me... Hate on me... Review.

**Disclaimer: I own nothing of Jimmy Two-Shoes or Diane Frolov. CJzilla owns your reviews and sanity!**

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"_There's a lot to be said for self-delusionment when it comes to matters of the heart_."

**Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider**, _Northern Exposure, First Snow, 1993_

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_**C'est la Vie**_

Chapter 1

_Misery in Miseryville_

There is not much to say as I introduce you to yet another unlikely romance between two unlikely people. It's a story that is nearly as old as the cliché from whence it spawned, but trust me; the story has never been told like this.

Now, there is a bustling town named after a state of mind: Miseryville. Two suns shone down on this miserable city filled with monsters and macabre. Miseryville was infamous for two reasons: one, misery, obviously; and two, the monarchy of tyrants that ruled the city; the Heinouses. And that is where I will begin, with the current tyrant of Miseryville: Lucius Heinous the Seventh.

11:30 a.m. The factory of Misery Inc sent waves of deafening sounds throughout the city. In a business that specializes in misery, today was unusually calm. Maybe because Lucius hadn't shown up for work; yet, anyway. Little did the drones of Misery Inc know that their boss was coming and he was bringing a bad mood with him.

The door slammed open. Samy, a timid, green monster with a lisp, jumped five feet in the air and craned around to the door. Stomping into his office was the CEO of Misery Inc and the tyrant of Miseryville. Lucius Heinous VII was in a livid mood. One look at his boss's fearsome face and Samy cowered.

"O-o-o-oh boy." He whispered, quivering behind his clipboard as Lucius marched passed him. "Good day Mr. Heinous. I was getting w-w-w-worried."

The short, red, devil-like tyrant shot his blubbering assistant a venom glare. Samy saw the dark circles under his eyes.

"Worried?!" Lucius barked, sitting in his big chair in a huff. "What's there to be worried about?! I am LUCIUS HEINOUS _VII_! Dictator of this mage infested city! RULER of all misery! There is no need for worry, you sniveling _toenail_!"

He slammed a fist on his desk making Samy nearly wet himself.

"Uh-…" The little green monster pointed to the wall. Lucius quirked an annoyed eyebrow and followed his assistant's hand to the clock on the wall. "It's half past eleven, sir… I thought you were not coming in today."

Lucius fell back in his chair and sighed.

"I _was_ coming in today. Just at my leisure." The devil-like monster then glared at his assistant. "I _AM_ allowed to do that, _aren't_ I? I mean, I _AM_ the CEO of this corporation AND tyrant of Miseryville. I CAN COME AND GO AS I PLEASE!"

Lucius's shout blasted Samy off of his feet and into a nearby wall.

"I never questioned that, Mr. Heinous." Samy readily responded peeling his clipboard from off of his face and revealing a big, pleasing smile. "I merely assumed that you were sick, sir."

The little green monster sunk behind his clipboard, thinking his enraged boss would hurl his desk at him. Instead, Lucius sighed.

"I _am_ sick. Sick _and_ tired." The short monster responded. "Last night was just _awful_!"

Samy felt a rant coming on; one that he would be forced to listen to.

"I went on my date with Jez, right?" Lucius leaned on his desk, looking miffed and gesturing. "And at the end of dinner and a movie, I take her back to my place. THEN! Ho, _then_ she tells me something that _no_ man wants to hear. Jez insinuates that my performance isn't to her liking."

Samy immediately blushed and looked at his clipboard. Lucius _never_ talked about his love-life with his curvy and beautiful girlfriend.

"Performance, sir?" He peeped, awkward and uncomfortable. Lucius spun in his chair, facing the window.

"It's not what you think. Let me finish." He replied, arms folded and looking out his window. "I told her that I'd be more than willing to prove her wrong and agreed to do anything she asked of me." Lucius paused, his silence showing that he was smoldering. "The next thing I know I'm in tights and tutu DANCING for Jez's amusement. Apparently the "performance" she was talking about was a frilly dance number that had NO real significance to what I thought she meant."

The little green monster stifled a laugh.

"And now I'm nursing a pulled hamstring, impending dance lessons courtesy of Jez AND a wounded ego." Lucius spun in his chair. "Therein WHY I am late. So I appreciate your concern Samy, I _really_ do," he was thickly sarcastic, "but the next time I'm late like this automatically assume that it was some sort of monstrous torture given to me by that girlfriend of mine."

Lucius rubbed his temples. Samy shrugged.

"Why not break up with her, sir?" The green monster fiddled with his clipboard. "If she's this much trouble, she's not worth it."

His boss snapped his eyes open.

"This coming from the only monster in Miseryville that hasn't had a date in his entire life? Lay off the romance novels, loser." Lucius bit. Samy's bottom lip quivered. "No. Jez may be high-maintenance but she's the only one in this hick town that is pretty enough to be on my arm. Until someone better comes along, I'm stuck with her."

What were you to expect from a self-serving, cold, narcissistic egomaniac? Lucius was superficial at best and only interested in his own gain. He HATED being relegated to anything or anyone. Jez was one of only two people that can make Lucius drop onto his knees. Who is the second person, you ask?

"Has Heloise made her report yet?" Lucius barked. Samy floundered with his clipboard.

"Reports don't come in until noon, sir." The green monster shivered. "It's only eleven thirty."

This didn't please Lucius. He felt like spreading misery to everyone around him and only Heloise's inventions could enable him to do that.

"I want to cause mayhem NOW!" Lucius jumped out of his chair. "She _better_ have something that I can use."

The CEO of Misery Inc stalked to the door. Lucius was on his way to the science wing of his facility.

Heloise, a super-intelligent and destructive human girl, held her hands to a handheld saw. With glasses over her blue eyes and plugs in her ears she sawed through a sheet of metal that would soon be her latest doomsday device. Doing something that was against her usual, Heloise took this idea from someone else: The great Leonardo da Vinci. Over the scream of cutting metal, she felt a tap on her shoulder. Pulling the small saw out from the metal, she swung it around and held it threateningly. Quivering before her was one of her little monster helpers. The small one-eyed purple creature pointed to a windowed room high above the production floor. Looking up Heloise caught sight of Lucius and his neurotic assistant standing in the sound-proof room. Lucius, her boss, had his usual scowl but looked even more haggard than normal.

A frown curled onto her feminine face. Then she looked at her watch. It wasn't even noon yet! But the boss was the boss. If Lucius wanted to see her, she would be forced to comply. Breaking off of her work, the dirty blond walked to the elevator.

Half a minuet later, Heloise exited the elevator and walked straight into the observatory. She was met by Samy cowering in nervousness and a death glare from Lucius.

"This had better be good, Lucius. I was on a roll." The girl growled pulling off her safety glasses. The angered expression on Lucius's face remained.

"Excuse me? _I'M_ the boss here, _employee_!" Lucius pointed at himself. "I could fire you for talking to me like that!"

A smug expression surfaced on her face.

"But you won't." Heloise quipped back. Lucius's look darkened dangerously but said nothing.

"What have you made for me today, Heloise?" The short devil-monster squeezed out. Heloise merely smiled; he looked so angry that he could breathe fire.

She walked to the window.

"I call her the Persuasion Processor." The girl motioned for the bits and pieces of her doomsday weapon. "She's not quite finished yet, but once she is, she'll be fun to play with."

Lucius was at her side, his hands folded neatly behind his back as he looked at the assembling weapon.

"And what does it do?" This was the part where the CEO of Misery Inc had a little extra patience. He was interested in EVERYTHING that Heloise's latest contraption was capable of.

Heloise gave a sadistic and proud smile.

"It's an armored weapon with spinning blades." She responded. "Though not very fast, she is competent of causing mass destruction. Three foot, razor sharp blades pop out of her sides. With a little elbow grease, the blades will spin the circumference of its circular structure. It will be nary unstoppable!"

Lucius held his chin in his hand as he eyed the top of the armored weapon.

"I've seen this somewhere." He mused. Heloise grinned.

"Yeah, you have. I ripped it off from Leonardo da Vinci." The dirty blond returned. "That man was a genius but also had his more darker inventions."

Lucius gave a dry, sarcastic laugh.

"Has your labyrinth of genius finally hit the wall, Heloise?" The short monster mocked. "Ripping ideas off of dead guys?"

Heloise shrugged.

"I was feeling nostalgic." She answered, not at all phased by Lucius's grate. Lucius frowned.

"How long until you're finished with it?" He questioned. Heloise traced her eyes back to her unfinished project.

"It'll be done at the end of the week." She answered. "Assembly's killer."

Lucius's frown deepened.

"I want something destructive NOW, Heloise." He stomped his foot. The girl rolled her blue eyes.

"Yeah, yeah; keep your dress on." She then began digging in the folds of her long cloak-like dress. "I have something that will take the nip off until I can get the Persuasion Processor running."

And then Heloise retrieved a small green sphere that was about the size of a marble. Lucius looked at it.

"Do I _have_ to ask what it is?" He waved his hand disinterestedly, tried with asking that worn out question. Heloise smirked.

The girl tossed it onto the glass of the window. Instantly the glass melted and shattered. Lucius jumped back.

"I call them: Devil Boogers." Heloise proclaimed proudly. "It'll eat through anything. Made mostly from a sample of your personality I once obtained."

She shot him a mocking smile while Lucius glared. Then the CEO brightened.

""Devil Boogers"?" He smirked. "Nice name. You feeling so nostalgic that you went back to the medieval ages AND your kindergarten years in the same day?"

Heloise suddenly darkened.

"Jimmy thought it was a good name." She growled. Lucius groaned loudly.

"Two-Shoes? That perpetually optimistic, chronically oblivious, pain-in-my-neck idiot that has led my son down the path of rebellion?!" The short, red, devil-like monster snorted. "He's good for nothing but being in the path of your over-grown dicer."

The girl's expression went dangerous.

"Jimmy's _twice_ the man you are!" Heloise snapped. Lucius rolled his dark eyes.

"Well, of course! He's a tall bean-pole with googly eyes and enough brainpower to barely toast a crouton." He responded. "And I don't know why _YOU_ of all people defend him."

Heloise huffed.

"I've suffered enough here." She turned to the elevator. "You have your pacifier, Lucius. Don't bother me while I'm working."

Lucius scowled.

"Keep mouthing off to me, Heloise, and you'll find yourself the first victim of your war machine." He threatened. Heloise laughed.

"You'd boil your own son in oil, Lucius." The girl responded, cold and sarcastic. "As soon as I wear out my usefulness, you'll let me go." But her expression remained smug and arrogant. "But that will never happen. You need me Lucius."

She raised her eyebrows and fluffed her hair.

"You'll be useful until another smarter, eviler genius comes along." Lucius folded his hands behind his back. "So enjoy your place at the top while you can. It's only a matter of time before you're replaced and I get to dance on your grave."

Heloise's smirk dropped slightly.

"If I don't kill you first." She remarked. Lucius looked off, disinterested.

"I won't hold my breath, Heloise." He responded. "You need me."

The girl rolled her eyes.

"I need you like a rash." She smirked, stepping into the elevator. "Now I gotta get back to work and you've got to get back to dancing for that broad Jez, _Lucy_."

And the doors closed on a malevolent expression on her sweet-looking face. Lucius was once again angry and he stood rigid, glaring at the elevator doors.

"_HOW_ did _she_ know about the dance?!" He gnarled feeling thoroughly embarrassed. Lucius was lucky his skin was red because no one could see his blush.

Samy snickered, getting a laser-beam glare from his boss.

Lucius crawled home after a day of stewing on embarrassment and getting even. Jez made a fool out of him but at least she did it in the privacy of his home. Knowing Heloise and her heinous methods of torment, she probably obtained photos and has blown up those photos to post on ever billboard, restaurant wall and light pole in the city. The whole town probably knows about his dance in gruesome detail. Heloise was a brilliant inventor but she was also a brilliant torturer. Now watch Lucius get any sleep tonight.

The adult dropped his briefcase as he walked into his big mansion. Loosening his tie, Lucius walked toward his bar. Breaking out a glass, he poured himself a shot of spirits. Swigging it in one gulp, he gave him self another. Three shots later, the edge of his problems and his hamstring were taken off. The short red monster walked over to his favorite recliner. Lucius sat there, too exhausted to turn on the television. Instead he looked out the window and watched the evening sun kiss the horizon.

With the five shots of spirits climbing to his brain, Lucius felt his eyelids get heavy. Telling himself that he'd only close his eyes for a second, he let his eyelids drift shut. In the blink of an eye, the fatigued tyrant/CEO was asleep.

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Review! LONG LIVE ROCK!


	2. Feeling Strange

Hello everyone! CJzilla here with another update. In this chapter Lucius has a dream that peaks his interest in Heloise. Now if he could only think straight. Enjoy.

As I rampage all over this city, alls CJzilla has to roar is this: R&R! Love on me.... Hate... Review.

**AN: I don't normally do dreamsquences in my stories, mainly because they are so cliche and worn out. It worked in this situation, though. I own nothing of Mr. Jacques.**

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_"A good relationship is like fireworks: loud, explosive, and liable to maim you if you hold on too long._"

**Jeph Jacques****, _Questionable Content, 11-14-08_  
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Chapter 2

_Feeling Strange_

Lucius looked out his window of his penthouse office at his ever expanding empire. The sky was red, doomsday weapons were running rampant, and the people were miserable; life was good. Lucius Heinous VII had succeeded in everything he'd planned for this town. The next step was expanding his rule into neighboring lands. If they were anything like Miseryville, it would be a piece of cake to invade and conquer.

Then he heard a door open and shut. Looking over his shoulder, Lucius saw Heloise standing behind him. Spinning, he met the girl's eyes with his own. She looked different. Her blue-grey eyes did not have an icy evil as they usually did. They were soft and held to a hunger. He cocked his head in curiosity.

"Heloise? Is-?" Lucius began. The girl cut him off.

"Your campaign has spread into neighboring counties, great one." Heloise voiced, leaning into him. "Your kingdom is blossoming… as is our love."

Lucius blinked, processing what she just said. He couldn't open his mouth to say a word. Then Heloise dove into his arms, hugging him. Lucius could only feel the way her fingers dug into his back, how tightly she pressed her young body to his and the way she hummed in his ear. Lucius felt like his soul was being stolen; siphoned through her touch. It was only then that he realized that he surrendered and hugging her back. Her dirty blond hair tickled his neck and cheek as she breathed into the shoulder of his suit. Lucius felt the heat from her breath seep through the fabric and touch his skin. Shivers danced up his spine in a sensation that he hadn't experienced before.

Lucius exhaled, tilting his head toward the ceiling so that more of Heloise's hair could touch his face. He found himself pressing his head onto hers and pulling her closer, deepening the embrace. Heloise then kissed his neck. Like lightning hitting his nervous system, Lucius felt a wave of surprise spread through his body. He let her kiss his cheek. Suddenly she pulled away just enough so they could look into each other's eyes. Heloise looked at him and blinked slowly. Lucius felt a grin tug on his face. Then the girl leaned in, relaxing her mouth and holding her lips just inches from his. Lucius leaned toward her, coming in for a torrid kiss.

Suddenly Lucius's eyes snapped open. He awoke with a sharp exhale; his breath gone. The devil-like monster found himself in his recliner, the taste of alcohol still in his mouth. Lucius sat up and ran his hand over her bald head, glancing out the window. Darkness so that must mean that he slept into the night. It was just a dream; just a dream. He was at home, Miseryville was normal and Heloise was not in his arms.

Lucius blinked and swallowed. His dream was disturbing but not for the fact that a girl was making a move on him. He was amazed at how quick he surrendered to her and to how fast he rushed into that kiss. Granted, it was a dream but he couldn't shake the fact that everything he felt was real. The stealing of his soul, the desire he felt and the shivers that were still dancing up and down his spine. With his heart still "thunking" in his chest, Lucius got out of his chair and stumbled to his bedroom. Sleep would find him again but not without haunting images and the lingering sensation of Heloise in his arms.

In the morning, Lucius Heinous VII went to work at his usual time. He found himself in his penthouse office gazing out the window and twiddling one of Heloise's "Devil Boogers" in his fingers. The CEO of Misery Inc had barely said two words since waking up this morning. Though pretty quiet, Lucius was on edge. His dream about Heloise was seared into his every thought and made him feel naked to the world. He replayed the dream sequence over and over to the point of obsession. Though he wanted to deny it, Lucius Heinous VII was beginning to believe that he enjoyed the dream. As twisted and revealing as it was, it was liberating and entrancing. It made him wonder about possibilities and if there was more to his view of Heloise than being a bossy, spoiled lackey.

"Mr. _Heinous_!" Samy's yell jolted him. Lucius jumped, inadvertently squeezing the Devil Booger too hard.

The weapon exploded, splattered on his desk. A wee drop landed on his hand. Lucius shrieked in pain, jumping out of his chair. Samy screamed and between him and his boss, the entire room was filled with girly panicking.

Heloise was busy welding on her latest doomsday machine. Her feet hurt and her shoulders were stiff from leaning forward but she kept her mind off of the pain as she thought about the rewards. When her invention was done, Heloise would get to watch it level Miseryville. That far outweighed her discomfort now.

Then she got a slap on the shoulder. The girl felt her temper shoot through the roof. Yanking up her mask, she glared down at the annoyance. To her surprise it was Samy with a very frightened look on his face. Heloise dropped her welding torch and hopped off of the ladder.

"_What_?!" She snarled. "I'm _busy_! Tell Lucius that if he wants this doomsday weapon done at the end of the week that he should _stop_ bothering me!"

But her boss's assistant grabbed her hand.

"Lucius! Boogers! Explode! Hand! _HORROR_!" Samy rattled off, his face going a whiter shade of pale. Heloise yanked her hand out of his grasp.

"You're not making sense! What's wrong?" She barked. Samy swallowed.

The look on his face made the girl feel a nip of concern.

Lucius paced his office, holding his hand tight against his chest and letting out grunts of agony. It hurt so bad! Just one little drop of that Devil Booger stuff and he was in writhing pain. His expensive desk was totaled and there was a hole the chemical had eaten in the floor. He cursed at the pain and how paranoid he was. On any other day, he would have been more attentive and maybe Samy would be the one wearing the Devil Booger. Speaking of the loudmouthed twit, where was he?

Suddenly the door burst open and his assistant came running in.

"Sir! I brought Heloise! She says she can help you!" Lucius's eyes widened in horror. Not Heloise! Not _NOW_!

And then the dirty blond girl marched into his office, looking rather cross. Her eyes came to her boss writhing in pain.

"You shouldn't mess around with those things!" Heloise immediately scolded, not seeing the awkward fear in Lucius's eyes. "They can eat through anything! Including YOU!"

She stalked over to him and held out her hand.

"Let me see." The girl gestured impatiently. Lucius took his hand from his chest and gave it to her; immediately she grinned. "You big baby! I don't see anything."

But the pain was real.

"It's there! On my index finger!" He pointed doing a little pain dance. "Oh _mama_ it hurts!"

Heloise found the wound. She grabbed his hand and curled his fingers, except for his injured finger, into a fist. Lucius noted how warm her hands were even though they were callused and dirty.

"Suck on your finger." Heloise commanded. Lucius gave her a crazy look.

"That's it?!" He barked. "All I had to do was stick my fing-?!"

Heloise shoved his finger into his mouth. As soon as his saliva hit the acidic Devil Booger, the pain stopped. Relieved, Lucius barely caught a chuckle.

"Look!" Heloise teased. "The Misery Inc big wig is eating a booger!"

The girl gave an ironic laugh as Samy stifled a chuckle. Lucius glared and took his finger from his mouth.

"Is that why you named it after a booger? A cheap laugh and an even cheaper gag?" He frowned. Heloise shrugged.

"One of my reasons, Lucy." She gave him a sly smile. "But now that the "horror" is taken care of, I have to get back to work."

Lucius felt his face crease in annoyance. He was once again saved and then humiliated by this self-centered girl. Then he noted that she was still standing in front of him.

"What?" He growled. "You expecting some sort of thank you? You know me better than that Heloise."

The girl shook her head.

"I'd expect Samy to become one of the most popular actors in the world before I'd expect you to thank me." Heloise responded in her normal sarcastic way. Then she cocked her head at him. "I smell alcohol."

The short devil-like monster rolled his dark eyes.

"For your information, I did have _one_ shot of spirits this morning." Lucius straightened his tie and dusted off the front of his suit. Heloise gave him an evil grin.

"You do look moderately drunk, Lucy." She stated. "Just a little shot of courage before you explain to your girlfriend why you skipped dancing lessons last night?"

Lucius's eyes snapped open. Jez had arranged for dancing lessons last night! He completely forgot! Though Jez would be fit to be tied, something else was more at the forefront of his mind.

"How did YOU know about those dance lessons?" Lucius questioned, pointing a finger in Heloise's face. The girl tried to look innocent.

Just then Lucius's secretary knocked on the door. The female monster looked nervous.

"Mr. Heinous, sir?" She peeped. Lucius shot his secretary a glare.

"What?! I'm _busy_!" He snapped. The secretary swallowed.

"A Miss Jez is in the lobby, demanding to see you, sir." The female monster replied. Lucius face-palmed; he did _not_ need a raving Jez to deal with right now.

Instead of yelling at his secretary, he turned to Heloise.

"I find it VERY disturbing that you are suddenly a WHIZ on what goes on in my life, Heloise!" Lucius yelled at the girl, shoulders raised. Heloise merely smiled.

"Maybe you should buy some curtains." The girl responded shrugging. Lucius growled and rubbed his temples.

"You know what, Heloise?! I'm REALLY considering chopping you into pieces and making Samy _EAT_ you!" He pointed at his assistant. Samy cowered.

Heloise turned her nose up.

"And lose your only golden goose? _You're_ lucky that I've stuck it out here as long as I have!" The girl barked back. Lucius groaned.

"Oh, _yeah_!" He began sarcastically. "Working conditions are _just_ HORRIBLE, aren't they?! The top inventor to Misery Inc _must_ be such a _drag_! The six figure salary _must_ be _just_ inhumane! And leveling the lab twice a month _without_ a peep out of your boss _must_ be undefiled _torture_! I'M LETTING YOU GET AWAY WITH MURDER!"

"Listening to you REALLY puts a damper on my evil output, Lucy!" Heloise gritted her teeth. Lucius returned the glare.

"Oh, come off it!" He snarled. "Don't blame ME for the little hiccups in your thought process! Maybe if you stopped fantasizing about that Jimmy Two-Shoes and focus on your _job_, you'd come up with better inventions than AN OVERGROWN FOOD PROCESSOR FROM THE DARK AGES!"

Heloise was starting to get miffed.

"Oh, _drop dead_, Lucius! Jimmy and I are _friends_!" The girl shot back. Lucius gave a dry, sarcastic laugh as he looked at his nails.

"Whatever makes you sleep at night, Heloise." He bit, snapping his eyes at her. Heloise scoffed.

"And you are a tiptoeing sugar plumb fairy with a pulled hamstring, bad teeth and a Napoleon complex." The girl returned. As school-yard and as petty as that was, it immediately bored itself under Lucius's skin.

"You are a surly, opinionated, self-destructive, straw-haired problem child with a starry-eyed infatuation with a boy who has the IQ of a moldy _potato_!" Lucius shot back. And if Heloise had fur, it'd be standing on end right now.

It was a good thing Lucius was in a fighting mood because Heloise looked angry enough to strangle him. A yelling match and insult war then commenced. Lucius and Heloise were temporarily oblivious to the world around them as they shouted and screamed at each other. Samy watched in bated horror as his boss yelled at his top inventor. If Lucius didn't realize his girlfriend's presence soon, Jez would probably break up with him… again. Samy stole glances at the spoiled anthromorphic cat-monster; she looked increasingly enraged that Lucius's attention was on the human girl and not her. Finally Jez stomped her foot, having enough of this.

"LUCIUS HEINOUS VII!" She cried in her snotty, high-pitched voice. And Heloise and Lucius's fight was broken off.

Lucius looked up to see his incensed girlfriend. Normally he'd cower and try to do some damage control but the red devil-like monster was too worked up to even care.

"_What_?!" He barked. Jez's eye twitched and she stomped up to her powerful boyfriend.

"Don't use that tone with _me_!" She snarled, pushing past Heloise and stopped in front of Lucius. Her purple face was flushed with anger as she balled fists. "You left me at the dance hall! I was waiting and waiting and you never showed! Lucius Heinous VII, I've got half a brain to-!"

But Lucius interrupted her rant with cold, unyielding eyes.

"When I say "what", it means that I want an answer in just two words or less." He gave her a sarcastic smile. "And if you are unduly upset about the dance lesson I missed, I have a very, very good reason: I had far _better_ things to do. To put it in terms that your half-brain will understand, Jez, I'd rather get dipped in acid, get ALL of my molars pulled and sponsor Samy in his acting career than take dancing lessons."

Lucius gave Jez a glare that cut right through her.

"Is that understood, _cupcake_?" He growled, giving her a threatening stare. Jez looked stunned to see her usually _so_ overly accommodating boyfriend disagreed with her.

Then the selfish woman narrowed her eyes.

"Lucius! I've come by to tell you that I want to put our relationship in a _time out_!" She snapped, folding her arms over her curvy chest. Lucius shrugged.

"Whatever. There's the door." He motioned for her to leave with a wave of his hand. "Don't let it hit you on the way out."

Lucius turned and ignored her. He heard Jez huff loudly, stamp out of his office and slam the door. Lucius straightened his tie. All feelings of rage and irritation aside… MAN! That felt _good_. Then he heard a giggle.

"Little Lucy's all _growed_ up!" It was Heloise. Lucius whirled around and glared at her.

"Why are you still here?!" He snarled.

"Like I'd miss you _finally_ growing a spine and telling off that frilly-haired gold digger." The girl tossed her finger over her shoulder after Jez. Lucius's scowl softened slightly.

At least he and Heloise shared _one_ thought in common. Jez was spoiled and pampered. She was used to dating powerful, rich men and getting anything she wanted. So let the narcissistic anthromorphic cat-monster walk out in a huff. Though Jez would not want to _look_ at him for at least three days, the payback was ALL worth it!

"I'm not in the mood for dealing with her OR further arguing with _you_." Lucius folded his arms and glared. That was his little way of telling her to get lost.

Heloise just grinned.

"So that means I won?" It was more of a rhetorical question. Lucius snarled like a cat.

"NO!" He spat, pointing to the door. "It means GET _OUT_ OF HERE!"

Heloise held her contented expression.

"I totally won the argument." And she started to the door. Lucius felt like chasing her out the door with a knife but seeing that he didn't have a knife, he had to settle with a biting threat.

"I'm going to ROAST your head over an open spit, cackling like I've _lost_ my mind!" Lucius fired at her. Heloise stopped at the doorframe.

She chuckled and looked over her shoulder.

"Well you're half way there, at least." Heloise quipped. "You've all ready lost your mind."

With that the girl shut the door, leaving no room for Lucius to reply. The short, red, devil-like monster stood there glaring at the door. Lucius felt irate but not as much as under normal circumstances. In the deepest corner of his mind, he couldn't help but feel a little charmed over Heloise. His progressing fascination with the girl was advanced that much more. But he hid it pretty well.

"_Samy_! Come here!" Lucius ordered, snapping his fingers. "I need someone to kick."

That night, Lucius found himself alone. No Jez tonight. Though it would look like a lonely evening, Lucius really didn't care to be with his lukewarm girlfriend. Jez wasn't much to be around when as they were alone. Her façade of love seemed to wear off with the limelight. Lucius doubted that if she was here, she'd even let him touch her. Once there was something to be mad about, Jez would stay infuriated for a long time; thus her petty personality. But instead of dwelling on his latest romantic relationship teetering on the brink of disaster, Lucius was analyzing his feelings.

Looking out the window, the powerful tyrant of Miseryville found himself lost in his thoughts. With a slow, romantic black and white movie playing on the television and a warm glass of scotch in his hand, Lucius watched the multi-colored evening sky. He wondered how it would really feel to hug Heloise and how it would feel if she _did_ kiss him. Painting himself a mental image of the young human girl, Lucius began to analyze her. Super-smart, sadistic, hair-trigger temper, sarcastic and self-centered, the girl's personality was ten times bigger than she was. Heloise was petite but able to look anyone, including him, in the eye. Her long dirty-blond hair was constantly held into a high pony tail. A malevolent smile gave away her constant scheming while her appearance of a diminutive, sweet girl countered how evil she really is. By all outward accounts, Heloise was his polar opposite. Lucius gave a grin. It was strange how this was becoming; how he and the girl seemed to be stuck together because of the business. Was his feminine equal standing in front of him this whole time without being noticed?

With the TV playing softly and the alcohol grasping him, Lucius felt his mind fog over with sleep. Sprawling out on his favorite recliner, he allowed himself to drift off.

The next day, lunch time came pretty swiftly. Heloise was down in the laboratory, gazing at her rendition of da Vinci's gruesome war machine as she unwrapped her sandwich. It was coming together quickly; only three more days of endless welds before all of the armor could be put together. Then the blades would be added shortly after the wheels. Heloise smiled. The machine was fun to work on; like a piece of the violent past brought to life. Da Vinci was a very smart man but he should have delved into his evil side more often. The girl picked up her sandwich and raised it in a toast to her assembling armored doomsday weapon.

"To the darker side of life." Heloise said out loud. "May evil continue to inspire methods of misery and chaos. Cheers to you, Mr. da Vinci."

Tilting her sandwich and giving her unfinished weapon a smile, Heloise was about to ease her lunch into her mouth. That's when the door to the lab opened. Looking up, the girl spotted Lucius walk into the large area, that childish scowl on his face. Heloise sighed heavily and prayed that he wouldn't see her. But alas, she was spotted and the short, red, devil-like monster made his way over to her. Heloise gazed at her sandwich in her hand, blatantly keeping her eyes off of her boss.

Lucius approached the girl as she ignored him. There was most likely a rant or volley of insults to soon come.

"Let me guess." Heloise said, sitting on one of the big pieces of welded metal. "The Devil Boogers got boring and now you're down here to see what other kinds of goodies ol' Heloise has in her candy shop."

"I haven't had the time to enjoy those wretched acid balls, to be honest." Lucius responded, folding his hands behind his back. "Besides after the first three "Devil Boogers", the _thrill_ of melting stuff would wear off."

After rolling her eyes Heloise looked at him, her brow creased in annoyance.

"And you came all the way down here to tell me that?" She questioned. Lucius gave her a lazy, stuck-up glance as he looked close at the piece of metal she was sitting on.

"Not necessarily." He responded, not bothering to look at her as he ran a finger along the welds. "I don't see why I can't come down here and check on the progress of my latest doomsday toy. And it looks like my little elves have been busy."

The girl gave an irritated grunt.

"It's LUNCH time, Lucy." Heloise slid off of her seat and to the floor. She walked up to him, sandwich in hand. "There is no work being done for another hour."

Lucius finally looked up at her. Then his eyes traced to the sandwich in her hand. A crease of disgust curled onto his face.

"What? You don't like turkey?" Heloise smirked and teasingly dangled her sandwich in front of him. Lucius's disgusted frown deepened.

"A six digit paycheck and all you bring to work is a sandwich filled with ballistic luncheon meat?" He quirked a brow. Heloise shrugged.

"I get what I can get my hands on." She was still teasing Lucius with her lunch.

The sandwich was nearly on his face when Lucius couldn't take it. He swatted it out of her hand and it fell onto the dirty lab floor. Heloise gasped.

"Hey! That was my lunch!" She snarled. "Now my sandwich is all full of metal shavings! What am I supposed to eat now?!"

Heloise looked angry enough to bust bricks with her bare hands. Luckily, Lucius was prepared.

"As it is lunch time and both of us have empty stomachs, I suggest that we do something about it." The short, red, devil-like monster voiced looking at his watch. Heloise looked at him funny.

"What do you have in mind?" She questioned. Lucius rolled his eyes.

"Wow. Did the evil genius just as a dumb question?" He smirked at her. Heloise grimaced. "_Eat_, of course! I have reservations at the finest bistro in all of Miseryville; the way I usually eat, you understand. Jez was supposed to be accompanying me but seeing is that we are on a "time out", I have an empty chair to fill."

The girl blinked.

"Lunch… with _you_?" Heloise said. Lucius shrugged.

"Well, if you put it that way…" He stepped aside and walked back to the door. "You can get back to your artificial intimidation turkey meat. Hopefully the metal shaving will be smooth going down and not cause too much blood loss."

Lucius walked slowly to the door, waiting for Heloise to take his offer. Just as he raised his hand to the doorknob, he heard the girl walk up behind him. Lucius felt Heloise grab the arm of his suit jacket.

"Just what are you playing at?" The girl questioned, a suspicious rile in her blue-grey eyes. Lucius turned and looked at her.

He tried to be innocent looking.

"Me? Playing? _Perish_ the thought!" Lucius sarcastically answered. Then he folded his arms and gave her a matter-of-fact stare. "I'm hungry and am leaving to get something to eat. You can accompany me or not; it's your choice."

And he opened the door and moved toward the elevator. Pressing a button, Lucius waited for the elevator. Then he heard the door close. Glancing out of the corner of his eye, Lucius saw Heloise standing beside him.

"This better not be a trick, Lucy." She warned. Lucius tried to stifle the smile threatening to spread over his face.

"Does a REAL turkey Panini threaten you?" The elevator doors opened and Lucius stepped inside. "There's nothing but a benefit that I'm offering you."

Heloise stepped into the elevator as he pressed the button.

"Yeah… That's what I'm worried about." She remarked as the doors closed.

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Review! LONG LIVE ROCK!


	3. Lunch

Hello everyone! CJzilla here with another update. In this chapter, Lucius acts on his little fascination with Heloise and takes her out to lunch. Not that she even realizes it. Enjoy.

As I rampage all over this city, alls CJzilla has to roar is this: R&R! Love... Hate... Review.

**AN: I own nothing of Mr. Sage and Mr. Adelman. Stupid chapter title...**

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_"Think about a woman. Doesn't know you're thinking about her. Doesn't care you're thinking about her. Makes you think about her even more."_

**Martin Sage and Sybil Adelman**, _Northern Exposure, The Bumpy Road to Love, 1991_

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Chapter 3

_Lunch_

Lucius found himself sitting across from Heloise as his limousine bounced over the highway. The girl was in the opposite seat to him, keeping her distrustful eyes fixed on him. The short, devil-like monster did his best to keep a poker face, relying on numerous business meetings where a straight, blank face was key. Lucius was hoping that Heloise wasn't catching onto this; this little "test run". Heloise was wicked smart but he doubted whether she was so sharp with reading people.

Everything today never happened by accident. Since his dream over Heloise, Lucius was growing more and more fascinated with her. His routine visit to the lab was no fluke, although Heloise's sandwich incident was a mishap. Lucius planned to ask her to lunch but had to be careful to hide his true intentions. Was this a date? To Heloise's knowledge, no; to Lucius… it was more complicated than that. This was a "test run", as he so dubbed it on his pillow this morning. Lunch today would either make or break his attraction to Heloise.

"What exactly is a "time out"?" Heloise suddenly asked. Lucius looked up from staring out the window.

He paused for a second before shaking his head.

"I have no idea." Lucius responded, looking stumped. Heloise quirked a brow.

"Then how do you know what state your and Jez's relationship is in?" The girl added. Lucius blinked lazily.

"I don't." He answered before gazing out the window again. "Jez is strange like that. She believes in couple therapy and breaking up with me in the same day."

Heloise shook her head.

"She came so highly recommended." Lucius heard himself say. "I heard she was high classed but… she's-"

"A wire-haired man-goblin?" Heloise responded. A grin cracked on Lucius's face.

"I was going to say viper but that's good too." He returned, that smile still on his mouth as he gazed out the window.

"Wow… Some catch." Heloise sarcastically congratulated. Lucius rolled his eyes.

"You know what "Jez" is short for, don't you?" He quirked a brow maintaining his grin. Heloise shook her head. "Jezebel."

Suddenly the door to the limousine opened. Heloise jumped in surprise. Lucius gestured for the door.

"Ladies first." He gave her one of his twisted smiles. Heloise grimaced and stepped out of the car.

When she expected to be in front of the eatery, she was surprised to be in an alleyway looking at an unmarked backdoor. Heloise gritted her teeth. This smelt like a trap of some sort.

"We're rolling incognito, Heloise." Lucius was suddenly beside her. "My entrance will be a little less grand than usual but at least the food's still the same."

Heloise stared at her boss as he nodded at his chauffer to open the building's backdoor.

"We took your _limo_!" The girl gestured at the big, expensive, lavish car. "If we're incognito, I'm a pumpkin!"

"Then roll yourself this way, my dear." Lucius said walking into the doorway and motioning for her to follow. "We're not going to eat if you keep talking."

Heloise's face twisted when he called her "my dear", but at the risk of being left with his creepy chauffer, she followed Lucius.

"Why the sudden mystery, Lucy?" The girl growled, walking through the dark hallway beside the red devil-like monster. Lucius looked over at her, his poker face still going strong.

"By now Jez has probably blabbed about our "time out" to all her girlfriends. You recall how fast gossip travels in this town, right, miss Spew Tube?" He gave her a cold look. Heloise screamed with laughter.

Heloise's publishing of his embarrassing belly-flop video on the net was still fresh in Lucius's mind. It was still a viral video smash, even after all the damage control and time gone by. The reason he brought up that most heinous of memories? She was starting to ask pointed questions.

"One of my _greatest_ evil moments!" The girl cheered, blatantly ignoring the venom glare that she was getting from her boss. Lucius felt a scowl ripple across his face.

"You're a mastermind, _really_." He bit. "Now, do you think you put your mastery of mass embarrassment to good work in my factory?"

The dirty blond rolled her blue eyes and couldn't suppress her giggles.

"Still got your undies in a bunch about my output?" Heloise smirked looking back over at him. Lucius turned up his nose.

"I'm a business man as well as a tyrant." He told her, stopping at another door at the end of the long hallway. "And an impatient business man at that. But since you are my top inventor, I'm dishing out a warning before I get serious."

Heloise laughed.

"Aw! You're so CUTE when you're trying to threaten me!" She reached up and pinched his cheek. Still laughing she walked through the door.

Lucius stood there rubbing his cheek and feeling irritated. So far operation "test run" was failing to _wow_ him. Maybe this was a mistake.

Walking in behind Heloise, Lucius found the girl awestruck by the insides of the restaurant. She gawked over the large dining area that was designed like a big French cathedral. Lucius felt a grin curl onto his lips. Just then a concierge walked up to them.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Heinous and good after noon to you, madam." The snooty monster greeted with a bow. "Please follow me to your table."

Heloise watched the concierge walk ahead of them.

"It's the law to have a lunch break, Heloise." Lucius voiced. "Let's not waste it on gaudy décor, huh?"

He flashed another one of his twisted smiles and moved after the concierge. It was at that point that Heloise realized her mouth was wide open. Mentally slapping herself, the girl followed her boss.

Lucius's booth table was set at the very back of the restaurant. There was low lighting, no windows and curtains for added privacy. Heloise was uncomfortable with the snooty, extravagant atmosphere but couldn't help but halfway admire her boss's smoothness. Once he was in his element, he gained a silver tongue and class that made him partly tolerable. Lucius hopped into his chair as Heloise eased into hers opposite of him.

"Anything for you to drink, Mr. Heinous?" The concierge questioned.

"A glass of house wine for me and-" Lucius looked over at Heloise, who was still trying to get comfortable in the booth's poofy seats. "What would you like, Heloise?"

"Lemonade." She gave him an irritated look. The concierge stiffened.

"We don't serve lemonade here, madam." He informed her. Lucius glared at the monster.

"My guest would like lemonade, you portentous suck up." The devil-like monster hissed. "GET her lemonade before I _fire_ you for being lazy."

"Yes, sir!" The concierge cowered and ran off to get their drinks. Lucius huffed silently, grabbed his menu and glanced it over.

Heloise watched her boss; he'd just yelled at someone in her behalf. Very unusual. Picking up her menu, she looked at it. Heloise scoffed at the big, French words and set it down readily.

"How are you able to withstand the immense amounts of snobbery without combusting?" She didn't think about that and immediately cringed. Something non-sarcastic left her mouth for once.

Lucius didn't even set down his menu.

"You get used to it after a while." He responded. "You either become a snob or excel and become a super-snob. I think you'd agree that I've tipped the scales when it comes to arrogance."

Heloise felt a smile come to her face.

"The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem." She returned, folding her arms and sitting back in the fluffy chair. He continued to page through his menu.

"Oh, I don't plan on ever recovering." Lucius stated. "My arrogance knows no bounds and I like it that way."

The dirt blond girl rolled her eyes.

"So you like being moderately deranged and overly impressed with your slight intellect?" Heloise quipped. To her surprise, Lucius gave a chuckle.

""Moderately"?" He echoed. Then he set down his menu. "Yesterday you pronounced me fully insane. Are you taking back a measure of your insult?"

Heloise narrowed her eyes at her boss.

"Not in the tiniest." She growled. Lucius shrugged, an easy, smug smile on his face.

"As it should be." He told her. "So… What are you ordering?"

The girl looked at him funny.

"The most expensive thing on the menu." She blurted out, trying to irritate him. Heloise failed.

"Those big French and Italian words too much for you?" Lucius's smug smile widened sarcastically. The girl looked down at her menu and gave a sneer.

"The frilly words nearly overloaded my nervous system and sent me into a black out." Heloise glared back at her boss. Lucius leaned back in his seat.

"Just trying to make small talk." He told her as their drinks arrived. "You look at me like you're expecting me to take some sort of revenge out on you."

Heloise quirked a brow as Lucius ordered himself some decorated and imported steak. The girl ordered a turkey Panini with French fries. Handing their menus off, the girl watched her boss sip his wine.

"Aren't you?" Heloise questioned. "You've been threatening me for three days. Why would you take me out to lunch if you didn't lace my lemonade with poison?"

Lucius smirked when he saw her examine at the bottom of her drink. It was time to toss out more countermeasures, keeping Heloise in the dark about his "test run".

"Since the paranoia has all ready set in, I'll cut to the chase." The short, red, devil-like monster set down his wine and gave her a square look. "Your output hasn't been up to your normal par, Heloise. Your inventions, such as they are, I _barely_ consider them evil. Comparing what you were a month ago to what you are now, there is a definite void in malevolent quality. So I'll ask you once before I start seriously thinking about firing you: What's wrong?"

Heloise's blue eyes dropped to her lap as she thought about her answer. Lucius leaned back and held his drink, awaiting her response. He expected her to spew out some stupid reason that was clearly a lie before insulting him again. Heloise was like that; she had an inability to express herself without an evil plan developing or the like. She hid her insecurity by sarcasm, insults and evil deeds. Though it was ultimately hurting his business, in all truth Lucius wasn't interested in her problems, just his self-centered fascination with her.

"I've been down." He heard her respond. Lucius blinked; she wasn't going to get all emotional on him, was she? "I've been on a steady decline since the first of this month."

Lucius refrained from slapping his forehead. She WAS going to get emotional on him! Well, anything to keep her from asking questions. He didn't respond.

"There's just a little more drama in my personal life than I'd like." Heloise set her cheek on her fist, absentmindedly stirring her lemonade. "I suppose my little school-girl infatuation with Jimmy Two-Shoes is obvious enough for you to notice, right?"

Two-Shoes. Lucius should have _known_ that this was all about that blond, hyper-happy weirdo. He then realized Heloise was looking at him and that she saw him scowling.

"Yes, this is about Jimmy." She gave him an exasperated look. The short, devil-like monster fought down a yell.

"I didn't say anything." He squeezed out, irritated to the point of anger. Heloise's eyes fogged over with depression.

"Well, about a month ago, Jimmy informed me that he and Beezy were going to get into the cookie-making business." She continued. "And that they were going to spread happiness to all of Miseryville and beyond."

She stroked her lemonade glass with her finger.

"He's got time for cookies and happiness but not me." Heloise concluded. Lucius face-palmed.

"_Cookies_? Of all the lame-brained-!" He hissed. "The depth of that boy's joyful psychosis continues to astound me. And he's dragging Beezy into his pit of butterflies and sunshine."

Heloise tapped her finger impatiently.

"This is about me, Lucy. Remember?" She commented. Lucius rubbed his eyes and looked up at her.

"Continue." He took a gulp of his wine. Heloise glared at him.

"I'm finished." She growled. Her boss rolled his eyes and leaned forward on the table.

"So your funk is caused by Two-Shoes not returning your affections, correct?" Lucius concluded. Heloise nodded stiffly. "Two-Shoes will eternally be happy-go-lucky and oblivious. There's nothing you can do that will change his annoying attitude. Let him go."

"I know, I know!" She threw her hands into the air. "But how pathetic is it when _cookies_ are more fascinating than I am?!"

Inwardly, Lucius disagreed with that. Even though this was not his favorite moment with the girl, she held his attention pretty well.

"It's not pathetic on your part, Heloise." Lucius told her. "This is _Two-Shoes_ we're talking about. He's always happy, clueless and ignorant of how much I can't _stand_ him. To fix your situation, why don't you start looking with boys that live in _reality_? Who knows? Once Two-Shoes sees you on the arm of another guy, he'll come around."

FLASH! Suddenly a flare of bright light came from the side. Lucius and Heloise looked up to see the lens of a camera aimed at them.

"Smile Heinous!" The paparazzi called out. FLASH; another blinding blast of light made Lucius and Heloise cringe. "Thanks for the memory, Lucius!"

As they were blinded the photographer got away. Lucius let a growl go as Heloise rubbed her eyes.

"Okay… now that we've gotten this out of the way." The red, devil-like monster traced his eyes back to Heloise. "I expect your problems to be worked out as soon as possible. Your workmanship needs to improve quickly. And if it doesn't I'll start looking for someone else to fill my needs. Is that clear?"

Heloise laughed at him.

"You're bluffing." She blinked the dots out of her eyes. Lucius frowned.

"Try me." He threatened, leaning over the table and narrowing his eyes. The girl's grin faded a bit before she rolled her eyes.

"I'll work on it." Heloise grumbled. Lucius sat back down in his seat and nodded.

"Grand." He replied and reached over and drawing his half of the curtain. Heloise suddenly felt uncomfortable.

Now this whole "eating-lunch-alone-with-your-boss" thing was getting to her.

"Why did you do that?" She questioned writhing slightly in her seat. Lucius quirked a brow at her.

"Do what?" He responded. Heloise looked at the curtain, the rapidly disappearing glass of wine and back up at Lucius.

"You drew the curtain." The girl murmured. Lucius gave a nod.

"Just so no more photographers can take my picture." He answered like it was no big deal. "Paparazzi make me lose my appetite. You'd be smart to close your side too."

Heloise gave him a distrustful look.

"I'm not going to be shut off in a dimly lit booth with my slightly inebriated boss." She growled. Lucius looked at her before he started laughing. "What? Quit it!"

The short, red, devil-like monster's laughter faded a bit as he wiped his eyes.

"One glass of wine will not even get me _faintly_ intoxicated." Lucius responded, fighting off giggles. Heloise looked irritated. "Besides you have nothing to worry about."

"And that's when the rusty knife plunges into my back." The girl grabbed her fork and raised it above her head. She was joking to avoid how awkward she felt.

Being alone with Lucius in such a confined and nearly dark setting made her strangely squirm. C'mon! This was _Lucy_ she was sitting across from! The man who spawned Beezy! The guy who steals the credit of _her_ inventions! A short egomaniac head-trip with a Napoleon complex, bald head, cadaver breath and big nose! He's disgusting! Even more so now that he's in his snobby element! _That's_ what it was! The snooty restaurant! Heloise accredited her awkward feeling to the snobbish atmosphere wafting through the restaurant and that Lucius was just aggravating her state.

Lucius watched Heloise glare at him. He held a goofy, amused smile at her. Aw! He was making her uncomfortable. Though it wasn't Lucius's intention to make her squirm he did enjoy it. For once she was in his element and suffering. Why not milk it more?

"This isn't the best wine I've had." Lucius gestured to the nearly empty wine glass. "You ever been to Europe?"

Heloise shifted in her seat.

"No." She stated frankly, thickly awkward. Oh, he was enjoying this.

"Well, I went to this place in Italy, a five star villa that was next to a vineyard." Lucius continued, pushing Heloise further and further off of her rocker. "Anyway it was set up in my vacation package to go on a wine tasting trip. I came back that night so smashed, I couldn't find a car even if it hit me!"

Heloise tightened her grip on her fork, sensing something about Lucius that she wasn't liking. He was doing this on purpose.

"And then, on my last trip to France, the waiter slipped something into my drink. The next thing I know, I'm sitting on a piano _topless_-!" Lucius gestured. Heloise couldn't take it.

"_Lucius_!" She cried, cutting him off. To her utter distain, her boss was in stitches. "So you're an alcoholic. Thanks for _finally_ admitting that."

Lucius wiped his eyes and bit down his laughter.

"Do you have any idea how easy it is to get your goat?" He said, smiling like an idiot. Heloise gave a frown.

"I _am_ pretty easy to annoy but there's something about you that pushes me that much closer to becoming a knife-wielding psycho." She gritted her teeth. Lucius sipped the last of his wine.

"Well, I _am_ your boss, my dear." He grinned. Heloise set her fork down and straightened it on her napkin. "And besides, it's just a little "thank you" for knowing about my dancing lessons."

The girl gave him an evil smile.

"Oh, I've got billboards rented out and am printing up roughly three hundred fliers." Heloise returned. "Everyone will soon know about your dance, Lucy."

Lucius matched her evil smile with a disappointed look.

"Slacking on torturing your boss, huh?" He quirked a brow. "I expected the news to be out and in the newspaper by now."

Heloise rolled her eyes.

"You're making that sound like it's a bad thing." She responded. "You can't live without my humiliation, Mr. Heinous?"

The short, red, devil-like monster smirked.

"Well I do notice when you're being nice, Heloise." Lucius answered. Then he got a napkin in the face.

Finally the food came. Lucius found that for the remainder of the meal, Heloise was silent. He guessed that she was conniving about getting revenge on him. Lucius was content with getting under her skin and whatever she throws at him, it was worth it.

As for this "test run", Lucius was leaning toward one conclusion: he was attracted to Heloise. He found himself wading deeper into waters he didn't know. And for all the uncertainty about what lie beyond his test run… it was exciting and Lucius was looking forward to it.

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Review! LONG LIVE ROCK!


	4. Gossip Makes The World Go 'Round

Ohyaho to everyone from Japan to New York! CJzilla here with another update! In this chapter gossip is running wild through Miseryville and it causes a little chaos. Enjoy.

As I rampage through this city, alls CJzilla has to roar is this: R&R! Love... hate... review.

**AN: I own no quote below. If you want to see some Jimmy Two-Shoes art, visit my deviantArt profile at cjzilla dot deviantArt dot com.**

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"Some relationships start with fights... But, usually only in romantic comedies. Life's not the movies."

**Takayuki Ikkaku, Arisa Hosaka and Toshihiro Kawabata**, _Animal Crossing: Wild World, 2005_

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Chapter 4

_Gossip Makes The World Go 'Round_

The next day, as Misery Inc occasionally roared off in the distance, Beeziel J. Heinous and Jimmy Two-Shoes were beginning to realize that their dream of being cookie makers was falling through the holes.

"I've got the next batch buddy!" The rambunctious blond Jimmy Two-Shoes came running out onto the lawn where Beezy was busy tanning. "It's a _doozy_!"

Beezy, the son of Lucius, sat up on his towel and lifted his sunglasses up onto his head. One look at the cookies on Jimmy's plate, the big red devil-like monster quirked a brow and asked the obvious question.

"What kind are they, Jim?" He scratched his forehead with one of his yellow claws. Jimmy gave a big, exuberant smile.

"A combination of two great things!" The human teen replied as Beezy shoveled a cookie in his mouth. "Licorice and jawbreakers!"

And then he heard a crack. Beezy sat there, frozen in pain as one of the jawbreakers in the cookie broke a molar in half.

"Ooo." Jimmy shuddered. "Looks like there's some liabilities to happiness in this batch."

Beezy pulled out a tooth and swallowed the dangerous cookie.

"Yup." Lucius's clueless teenage son flipped his glasses back down over his eyes and flopped back down on his towel. "All of our cookies seem to be hazardous."

Jimmy nodded with a sad look.

"We had to pump your stomach eight times within the last month, buddy." The blond boy sighed dejectedly. Beezy took it in stride.

"Such is the price a cookie tester is willing to take!" The big, overweight, red, devil-like monster proclaimed. "And so crayons aren't as good as they look."

Jimmy snapped his fingers.

"We've hit a funk, Beez." The human stated. "We just need to find the perfect cookie recipe and we'll be spreading happiness over Miseryville in now time!"

"Yay, happiness." Beezy gave a lazy cheer before promptly falling asleep again. Jimmy looked at his friend before he brightened.

"Next batch!" The boy cheered and sprinted back to the house. On his way back inside, Jimmy saw today's newspaper sitting on his front steps. "Paper!"

Tossing his plate over his shoulder, Jimmy Two-Shoes bent down and grasped the newspaper. He read the headlines to see what was happening today. Jimmy's eyes widened when he saw what it said.

""Heinous paints town red with top inventor of Misery Inc"?!" And below the headline was a picture of Lucius Heinous VII sitting across a table from Heloise! Jimmy read on. ""After breakup with long-time girlfriend, Lucius Heinous ropes in his young chief inventor"!"

Jimmy was shocked. Lucius and… _Heloise_?! But they couldn't stand each other! Taking another look at the picture, he saw that Lucius and Heloise were leaning in to each other, obviously whispering. It was rather incriminating. Jimmy felt his feet run for Beezy.

"BEEZY! _BEEZ_!" Beezy was suddenly jerked from sleep when he felt something slammed on his stomach. He jumped with a grunt of pain.

When he opened his eyes, he saw Jimmy standing over him looking like the world just ended.

"What?!" Beezy gasped. "Meteor shower?! Stampede?!"

Then he saw the newspaper on his lap.

"The headlines!" Jimmy quivered, looking mortified. Beezy grabbed the paper and read it.

As he read on, the son of Lucius went white.

"Heloise and… _DAD_?!" The overweight monster jumped to his feet. "That's TWISTED _GROSS_!"

"What in the world?!" Jimmy shoveled the scattered papers into his arms. "This is INSANE! Heloise can't date your dad! He's like… _ancient_!"

Jimmy cringed violently, looking thoroughly disgusted. Beezy looked slightly insulted.

"Dad's not ancient, Jimmy." The big, red, devil-like monster furrowed his brow. "He's only like in his mid-thirties. But this-… THIS is just _SICK_, even for dad. It can't be right…"

The teenage human boy was pacing the lawn.

"Heloise can't date your dad! How awkward would it be if she and Lucy got _married_?!" Jimmy rattled off. "It'd be totally weird if we made play dates with your _mom_!"

Both boys were teetering on a puke.

"You GOTTA sink it, Beez!" The blond boy zipped to his friend and shook him like a maraca. "I don't want to play with your _mom_!"

Beezy pushed Jimmy off of him.

"JIMMY!" He cried. "Dad and Heloise AREN'T getting married. I bet they're not even dating! It's just gossip."

"But the headlines! And that _picture_!" Jimmy gave a disgusted hiss. "They're EATING together! That's a _date_!"

Lucius's son thought for a second.

"I'll talk to him about it but I doubt dad will say anything." Beezy agreed. "I bet he's as disgusted as we are."

Lucius Heinous VII sat in his office, signing papers on his new desk. He felt… strangely euphoric, though no one could tell at first glance. Lucius's straight face didn't give away the giddy feeling tickling his insides. Heloise's test run went wonderfully and he was considering making another strategic move. Now… how to trump her this time…

Lucius felt shivers run up his spine and a dirty grin curl onto his face. Heloise was so young! And he just tricked her into dating him! He never dated a girl twenty-some years his junior. He wondered what _else_ Heloise would let him get away with.

"Mr. Heinous, sir?" Lucius heard a peep out of his assistant. Bringing his eyes upward, he looked over the brim of his glasses.

"What is it Samy?" He growled, stacking his paper and signing another. "As you can see, you pea-brained witling, I am busy."

A pause where he could only imagine Samy wet himself.

"Were you going to say something? Do you need more paperclips?" The timid, green monster quivered. Lucius looked up again.

"What are you blathering about, you spineless ninny?" The red, short, devil-like monster glowered, slamming his fist on his stapler and securing pieces of paper together.

"You smiled for a second there, sir." Samy responded. "You looked like you were going to say something… or thinking of saying something."

Lucius found himself caught in a moment where he was thinking fondly of Heloise; by his assistant, no less. The small egocentric easily dodged suspicion.

"Oh, I was thinking of ripping out your tongue, throwing it into a blender and making a pie out of it." Lucius returned in a sinister tone as he signed another paper. Samy cowered. "Then giving it to Jez to eat. Now _shut up_! I'm trying to concentrate!"

Samy squeaked and dove under a chair, trying to keep his teeth from clattering together. Lucius wanted to smile but he knew it'd only give his stupid assistant something to gossip about around the faculty drinking fountain. Just then his intercom chirped.

"Mr. Heinous? Your son is here to see you." The secretary said in an unexcited tone. Lucius felt a twitch come to his eye.

Why was Beeziel bugging him now? The cookie business he started with _Two-Shoes_ not working out? Lucius found his finger on the intercom button.

"Send him in." He grumbled. He went back to his paperwork, disliking a distraction from daydreaming.

About half a minuet later, Beeziel or "Beezy" as he like his friends to call him, walked into the big office. Lucius could pick out that lazy shuffling from anywhere.

"Hey, dad." His proportionally bigger son greeted. Lucius glanced up at him.

"What is it now?" He barked at his estranged son. "As I've told my sniveling assistant, I'm very busy."

"Yeah, pushing pencils." Beezy matched his father with a lazy-toned remark. Finally Lucius dropped his pen and rubbed his eyes from behind his glasses.

"I can just _feel_ something stupid coming on…" The short, red, devil-like monster groaned. Then he heard a "thump" on his desk.

"Stupid's what you make of it, daddy dearest." Beezy grunted. Lucius looked up to see today's paper in front of him and a weird look on his son's face. "Care to explain?"

Lucius frowned and pushed the paper away.

"What do I have to explain? It's gossip." He responded, looking back at his papers. Beezy was not as easily convinced.

"What in the heck were you and Heloise doing having lunch, anyway?" The teenage red, devil-like monster pried. Lucius sighed.

"Is this really necessary, Beeziel?" He questioned. "I don't want to answer stupid gossip questions."

"Well, normally I don't care what you do." Beezy rolled his eyes. "But this involves Heloise; she's my friend. So spill."

Lucius cursed his son's newly acquired brain and groaned.

"Unlike what it says in the headlines, that bratty inventor and I were not on a date." He rubbed his forehead. "I invited her to lunch to discuss her slacking. Nothing happened; it was not a date."

His large son still gave him a funny look.

"That's still weird, dad!" Beezy threw his hands in the air. "Why not just yell at her _here_?! WHY did you take her to a restaurant?"

Beezy wasn't letting him off easy. Lucius was starting to get really irritated.

"Do you know how stupid you sound right now?" He hissed at his son. "What I did, I had the business in mind. Now, the method in which I use to run this business shouldn't concern you. You've made it clear that you just want to goof off with Two-Shoes rather than spread misery."

Beezy groaned and pulled on his ears.

"Don't turn this around on _me_!" The teenager growled pointing a claw in his father's face. "This is about you and your _date_ with Heloise!"

Lucius squeezed the pen in his hand and took his glasses from his face.

"I _told_ you, you ungrateful _slug_! It was NOT a date!" He snarled. Beezy glared his father down.

"It looks a lot like that, _dad_." The big, red, devil-like monster voiced. "And right after you break up with Jez."

Lucius nearly busted the pen in his hand.

"If you don't believe me, then ask Heloise, _Beeziel_!" The short, red, devil-like monster spat back. "_She'll_ tell you that it wasn't a date."

And speaking of the devil; in that instant, Lucius's office doors were nearly kicked down. Everyone whipped their head around. In stepped one very angry, very bloodthirsty Heloise.

"Whoa." Beezy saw the expression on the girl's face. He side stepped and exposed his father.

Heloise zeroed in on her boss.

"LUCIUS!" She gnarled, stomping toward him. Lucius felt fear trickle up his back.

The dirty blond came up to his desk, hopped on it and looked him in the eye.

"_LOOK_ AT WHAT YOU DID TO ME!" Heloise screamed in a rage. Lucius sunk in his chair and gave her a brief look over.

"Uh… what?" He peeped. The girl grabbed his pen and flung it across the room.

It impaled the big, gaudy portrait of himself that Lucius had in his office. Then Heloise snatched the newspaper from his desk.

"THIS, _Einstein_!" She fumed, pointing at the headlines. "Now everyone thinks I dated YOU!"

Lucius sat up in his chair and pushed the paper out of his face.

"I have no control on the gossip in this town." He frowned at her. "I'm just as much a victim of this scandal as you are. What do you want me to do about it?"

Heloise grasped him by the front of his shirt and snarled in his face.

"_FIX_ it, Lucy." She hissed. "Or I break your face."

He felt his insides dance at her nearness but on the same token, he felt afraid for his life.

"How? You can't exactly squash these type of things like a bug. Trust me, I know." Lucius returned. Heloise was smoldering but released her boss.

The girl sat on his desk, just glaring at him.

"There has to be something you can do." Heloise grumbled. "My reputation went from top inventor of Misery Inc to YOUR new squeeze."

Lucius thanked the natural red hue of his face for hiding a small blush. He thought for a moment.

"Samy! Come here." He commanded. In a flash, his assistant was at his side. "I want you to kiss my son and let me take a picture."

"Will that be a peck or a full-lip smooch?" Samy returned. Beezy looked horrified.

"WHAT?!" Beezy threw his hands in the air. "_**NO**_ WAY! I'm not getting involved in this!"

Lucius gave a wicked grin as he looked at his son.

"What? You are concerned about your friend, _right_?" The short, red, devil-like monster gave a sly grin at his son. "Would you help her clear up her reputation? It's just _one_ measly photo."

"Yeah, I wanna help but I ain't going to cover scandal with more scandal." Beezy gave Samy a disgusted flinch. Lucius just grinned more.

"C'mon… for Heloise." The CEO was banking on his son's philanthropy he obtained from Two-Shoes to humiliate him. Finally Beezy gave a timid nod. "Grand! Now I need a camera."

But Heloise was all ready lining up the shot.

"Beezy, you and Samy move over to the window. I need the light for a really good photo." She instructed putting her eye to the camera. Beezy walked over to the window, his head hung low.

Samy threw on some lipstick and jumped into Beezy's arms.

"Isn't there something _else_ you could do, DAD?!" The teenage monster pleaded to his father, holding Samy away like he had the plague. Lucius was enjoying this thoroughly.

"Sorry, Beezy. My hands are tied." He responded. "Oh, and Samy? Make it a _movie_ kiss."

Lucius and Heloise fought down laughter.

"Kiss me you fool!" Samy cried to Beezy. In a moment of totally humiliation for Beezy and in the flash of a camera, there was a way out of the scandal.

"Got it!" Heloise cheered, lowering the digital camera from her face and showed it to Lucius. "That's going to make a really nice scandal photo!"

The small, red, devil-like monster was just grinning ear to ear.

"*_Hurk_*!" Beezy was slumped over the nearest trashcan, ralfing while Samy looked quite pleased with himself. "Oh… that was **MORTIFYING**! *_Heeahck_*!"

Lucius rubbed his hands together watching his son suffer and vomit.

"Samy; take this film down to the nearest newspaper and give it to them, free of charge." Heloise handed Samy the camera card and Lucius's assistant pranced out of the room. "Beezeil, if I was you, I'd want to hide under a rug for about a month. _Thanks_ for helping your friend, son."

"Yeah… _Whatever_." A dizzy Beezy staggered for the door, looking absolutely revolted. He looked at Heloise. "I hope you _appreciate_ what I did for you, Heloise!"

Heloise gave a smile.

"Oh, I _sincerely_ do, Beezy." She gave him her sweetest, most innocent smile. The violated teenage monster left the room, shutting the door in the process.

And Lucius and Heloise were doubled over, laughing their butts off. Heloise was curled up in a ball on Lucius's desk while Lucius had his head down, laughing so hard he couldn't make a noise. Finally their giggles subsided. Then they found that they were looking eye to eye.

Déjà vu from his dream hit Lucius's mind like an icy bullet, freezing him in a blank stare. He wanted so bad to just lean into Heloise and kiss her. But the girl looked at him funny.

"What?" Heloise questioned, a brow quirked. Lucius cleaned his face and leaned back.

"Nothing." He muttered and then he hopped out of his chair. Lucius walked to his portrait and examined the pen between his painting's eyes. "I doubt my son's romantic headshot will put a dent in the scandal, though it was good for a cheap laugh and wrecking any chance he has for a date."

Lucius clicked his tongue and stared at the pen in the painting. Heloise jumped off the desk and moved up to her boss.

"I'll see what I can do about your reputation." Lucius folded his hands behind his back. "But even someone like me will have problems changing thoughts. Rest assured that I will do my best to rebuild what our little lunch destroyed."

Then he turned, looking at her. The short, red, devil-like monster held a straight look on his face while Heloise cocked her head at him. There was a mystified but honest look on her young face. Lucius tried to hide how his heart wanted to jump out of his chest. Heloise bit her lip and dropped her eyes, letting them linger on the ceiling. Lucius too avoided eye-contact. An awkward silence cut through the room. Lucius nearly let his motor-mouth give him away. If she continued to linger here, there's no telling what he might do. It was best to excuse Heloise before he did something that he'd regret.

"Well, if that's all, my dear, I need to get back to my paperwork." Lucius sidestepped and began walking around the girl. To his torture, Heloise grabbed the sleeve of his suit jacket.

"What's _wrong_ with you?" She questioned pointedly, peering at him. "You've been acting strange for days now. You're… being… _nice_ to me."

Lucius pulled his sleeve out of her grasp, turned and gave her a cross look.

"Nice? Not in my business, Heloise." He frowned at her. "You must be mistak-"

"And not to mention all the times you've called me "my dear"." Heloise went on, obviously ignoring him. "What are you hiding?"

Lucius was taken aback and couldn't hide it; his poker face shattered.

"You've been up to something." The girl advanced on him, making him back up. "You NEVER make visits to the factory floor! I never bought that story for a second! And now you say you will do your best to rebuild my reputation? You've gone _off_ of your rocker!"

The short, red, devil-like monster never like getting pushed back against a wall like this. Since he saw he couldn't verbally fight his way out of his corner, he had to take another course of action. Planting his feet on the floor, Lucius wasn't going to back up any further.

"Heloise, I-!" And then the girl walked into him. Both froze in a tangle.

Lucius felt Heloise's dirty blond hair. It was soft and ticklish on his face. He felt his heart "thunk" strongly inside his chest and a shiver spread like lightning through his body. Though this was no hot-blooded embrace, it was close enough to make Lucius relive parts of his dream. But he longed to feel Heloise's fingers dig into his back and her lips on his skin.

"Uh… hello? Lucius?" He heard the girl say to him. "Let go."

Then he realized that he was holding her. Like prying open rusted metal, Lucius took his fingers from the girl's upper arms. As they parted he willed himself the best poker face he could muster. Suddenly looking at each other, no words came to Lucius. He felt that he'd been caught and just waited for Heloise to either run or start yelling at him. But… neither happened. Heloise stood there in silence, staring at him. Now he felt like a bug under a magnifying glass.

Lucius then broke the stare by turning and walking to his desk.

"Get back to work, Heloise." He grunted, taking a seat in his chair. Putting his glasses back over his eyes, Lucius picked up another pen and started signing his name on forms.

He held his sights to his paperwork but still felt Heloise's eyes heating up his body. After a few seconds of staring in silence, Heloise walked quietly to the door. Lucius heard the door close. Glancing up, he found himself alone at last. Giving a wary sigh, Lucius ran his hand over his head. That was close! A few more seconds and Heloise would have said something! Then what was he going to do? Start a confession? By the way she was staring at him, he very well could have broken down right there.

"Yeah; "Hi Heloise! I've been acting screwy because I had a steamy dream about you! By the way, how's my death machine coming?"" Lucius said out loud, talking to himself and to an imaginary Heloise. He frowned, sunk in his chair and folded his arms. "Yeah, right. She'd probably run out of here screaming. A day later I'd get her resignation slip: "Can't work with you anymore because of your creepy romantic interest in me. P.S.: Get a cat you lonely freak"."

Lucius blew a frustrated raspberry and slumped forward.

"Dang, this is hard." He told himself, taking his glasses off and rubbing his eyes.

Indeed it was a juggling act; balancing his emotions, keeping everyone in the dark about his little lust for Heloise AND running the biggest business in Miseryville. Lucius groaned, letting his head fall on his desk. If he could just avoid Heloise for the rest of the day while he got his emotions in check, he should be fine. But at this rate, he'd end up spilling his dirty little secret. Lucius sat up, exhaled and willed himself some self-control. Picking up his glasses and pen, he began signing papers again.

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R&R! LONG LIVE ROCK!


	5. Talk Is Cheap

Welcome Saints and Sinners! CJzilla here with another update. In this chapter Lucius is feeling pressure from keeping his lure to Heloise a secret. He wants advice, gets a "talk" from the last person he wanted and Heloise is not making this any easier for him. Enjoy.

As I rampage all over this city, alls CJzilla has to roar is this: R&R! Love... Hate... Review.

**AN: I own nothing of Mrs. Iris Muroch...**

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_"Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real."_

**Iris Murdoch**  
_British novelist (1919 - 1999)_

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Chapter 5

_Talk Is Cheap_

The day dragged on and on. Lucius found himself watching the clock and willing it to go faster. When quitting time arrived, the Misery Inc big boss was already in his car. Lucius drove away like his business was on fire. He had to get home to straighten out his thoughts.

At his huge, foreboding mansion, Lucius found peace and quiet. Taking a seat on his favorite recliner, he flipped on an old movie. He wasn't really going to watch it; he just needed some background ambiance as he gazed out the window. Lucius watched the dreary sky float on by as he found his thoughts pulled back to Heloise. When he closed his eyes, he saw he girl's dark blue-grey eyes staring back at him. Lucius rubbed his face where Heloise's dirty blond hair licked him. He replayed the sensations over and over; trying to relive the moment he nearly lost control and let Heloise onto his little secret.

Lucius flopped around in his chair, grinding his teeth and finding no satisfaction with what he was feeling. Hopping out of his chair, he glared at the television and the movie. It was just at the part where the wayward hero was within an inch of his sanity; barred in his home like a caged animal. And then the heroine and the hero's love-interest appeared. No dialog was exchanged as the woman ran into his arms. Lucius felt a scowl slam onto his face as he watched them kiss passionately. Huffing, the short, red, devil-like monster turned his back to the TV. Though he wished reality was like the movie, Lucius knew that Heloise would never kick down his door to rescue him from his caged frustration.

Staring off for a moment, he begrudgingly acknowledged that he needed some advice. Lucius had one idea of where to get guidance but it vexed him.

"Am I really that desperate?" He pulled on his ears. Then he sighed, embracing reality for once. "Yes. Yes I am."

Turning toward the basement of his mansion, Lucius aimed to talk to his father, Lucius Heinous VI.

Hitting a red button on his father's cryogenic stasis tank, the ice surrounding an aged, blocky, orange devil-like monster in a wheelchair melted with a hiss. After a blast of fog washed over the room, Lucius held his breath as his father awakened from being frozen for about a solid week.

"Oi." Was his father's first word. "What's the problem now, Lucius?"

Yeah… Lucius would only defrost his prematurely frozen father for advice and to answer questions like some magical, icy oracle; minus the majesty and excitement.

"I've need some advice, dad." The short, red, devil-like monster twiddled his thumbs. Grandpa Lucius groaned.

"You're lucky I can still talk. I'm no doctor but I do know that being frozen, thawed, frozen and then thawed is _not_ good for my health!" The old monster spat back. Lucius gave him a sweet smile.

"I'm thinking about moving you upstairs." He responded in a singsong voice. Grandpa Lucius wasn't buying it.

"Yah. That's what you said the last time!" The orange, devil-like monster returned. "What do I look like to you?! Some magical genie that you can thaw and summon? Not your personal problem solver!"

Lucius gave his dad a blank stare for a long moment.

"What do you know about women?" He blurted out. Grandpa Lucius blinked at him before he scowled.

"Venomous wolverines! **ALL** of them!" The aged orange monster exclaimed, shaking a fist. A childish glint came to Lucius's dark eyes.

"What about mom?" He asked.

"_Especially_ your mother!" Grandpa Lucius barked. "She was something straight out of Greek mythology! A snake-haired hydra with a heart blacker than coal! She caused me SO much misery!" Then the old monster softened considerably. "But, oh, how I loved her! She could make people more miserable than I could on my best day. Now THERE was a woman that had me wrapped around her beefy fingers."

To Lucius's knowledge, his mother WAS an actual hydra. His dad and mom met while terrorizing the same village.

"You not having women trouble, are you Lucius?" Lucius heard his dad question carefully. He looked back up at his half-frozen father.

Lucius gave a nod. Grandpa Lucius groaned.

"It's that poofy-haired, gold-digger ditz that wears those inappropriate shoes, isn't it?" The aged monster glowered at his son. Lucius immediately made a face.

"What? Jez? NO! I'd be sooner dipped in boiling oil before I'd talk to you about HER." The short, red, devil-like monster folded his arms defiantly looking insulted. Grandpa Lucius was stumped.

"Then who's got your bunny jammies in such a knot?" The old orange monster quirked a brow as he watched his son begin to pace.

"Well, that's the problem." Lucius began. "I never knew I had feelings for her until I had this dream about her. And then the next day, I couldn't think straight and I starting conniving these little plans to get her to date me without her knowing about it."

Grandpa Lucius hummed thoughtfully.

"So this dame must be someone that would never date you deliberately." The aged monster said thoughtfully. Lucius rubbed the back of his head.

"I think so… I never asked her." He replied. That got him a dirty look from his father.

"You're SO spineless!" Grandpa Lucius snarled. "You're a HEINOUS! Heinouses aren't cowards! March up to the woman and lay it out on the line for her!"

Lucius gave a timid laugh.

"That there's the problem, dad." He paused. "You remember Jimmy Two-Shoes?"

The old monster thought for a second.

"Oh! You mean that melon-headed human with the big smile who talks a lot?" Grandpa Lucius questioned.

"Yeah. Now, do you remember the human girl who keeps mouthing off to me?" Lucius continued, a nervous smile on his face. Grandpa Lucius's jaw fell to the floor.

"HER?!" The aged orange, devil-like monster gawked. Lucius blushed. "She's only knee-high to a grasshopper! How old is she?! You've got to be THIRTY years older than her!"

Lucius felt himself frown.

"Twenty years." He mumbled, folding his arms. "Her name is Heloise and I think I'm in love with her. What _do_ I do, dad?!"

Grandpa Lucius just stared at his pacing son.

"I took her out to lunch under the guise of being concerned about her quality of work. That was a day ago!" The red, devil-like monster swallowed. "Now she's asking questions and getting wise to what I'm doing!"

And his father finally snapped out of his stupor.

"Isn't that the point, Lucius?" The old monster questioned. Lucius looked up at his dad.

"There's a catch." He looked at his feet. "Heloise is the top Misery Inc inventor. If I tell her how I feel, she's likely to quit and I'm left without a golden goose. But being sneaky about my attraction to her is unraveling! I can't stop thinking about her! And today; TODAY I nearly lost control and kissed her; TWICE! I'm desperate! What do I do?!"

"Oo. Sounds like you're in deep doodoo." Grandpa Lucius cringed. Then he cleared his throat. "But I think it's all in you head. If you had a hot dream about her, it's all just fantasy. Younger women will do that to even the strongest man."

"I thought it was all in my head too!" Lucius gestured. "And that's why I took her to lunch. That little test only made me realize that Heloise is just as nasty and as cold-hearted as I am! I past the hurdle of fantasy! I'm up to my throat in _love_!"

Again Grandpa Lucius cringed.

"That deep, eh?" Lucius nodded. "Well, my boy, I can think of only one solution: be subtle and sneaky; at least until she quits or you fire her. THEN pounce. If she's anything like other women, she'll eat you up."

Lucius pulled on his ears.

"That's _not_ helping! You don't know Heloise!" The short, red, devil-like monster was hyperventilating. "She can make ANYONE crack! The underhanded technique will only work for a _short_ time!"

His father shrugged.

"So? Maybe in that short time you'll come to your senses and everything will go back to normal." Grandpa Lucius responded. Lucius swallowed.

"It's not that easy… You don't know Heloise." He said. Grandpa Lucius was fed up with his son's cold-feet.

"Do you know how gutless you sound, right now?" The old, orange monster snarled. "She's JUST a teenage girl! You're MY son! MY offspring are not afraid of little girls!"

Lucius glowered at his father.

"If you ever get the chance to meet her, you'd wish you hadn't." He growled. Grandpa Lucius blinked at his son.

"Meet her? So does that mean I'm going to stay unfrozen?!" The old monster questioned with a big smile. Lucius got a big, evil grin on his face.

"Sure. You'll be as unfrozen as a popsicle at the south pole." And then the short, red, devil-like monster pressed the big red button. The cryogenic machine shot a blast of ice over his father.

With a look of deceived horror literally frozen on his face, Grandpa Lucius was immediately flash-frozen. Lucius gave an evil cackle.

"Thanks, daddy!" He beamed at his iced father. Then Lucius glowered. "Thanks for nothing. I'm back to square one."

Still irritated enough to chew through a wall, Lucius stomped out to his living room. Pouring himself an alcoholic beverage, he flopped back down into his recliner. Staring at the television but not really watching his movie, Lucius growled out loud. Just then the doorbell rang. Lucius frowned, set down his drink and got up from his chair. Shuffling to his huge, gaudy door, the red, devil-like monster opened it. And on the other side of the door, Lucius met the one person that could make his day even worse.

"LUCY!" It was Jimmy Two-Shoes. Lucius gritted his teeth and made no effort to hide his displeasure.

"What are YOU doing here?" The red, devil-like monster questioned, cracking open his door just enough so that Jimmy could hear him. But in typical Two-Shoes style, Jimmy didn't take the hint that he wasn't wanted.

Pushing the door and throwing Lucius on his pants, the blond boy skipped into the house.

"Just came by to see how my good friend Lucy Heinous is doing!" Jimmy scooped him off of the floor and gave him a big, eager hug. Lucius was close to vomiting.

"When I say "what are you doing here", it means GO AWAY!" The small monster wormed out of Jimmy's grasp. Still, the teen human was oblivious.

"Wow… You look stressed. Here! Let's talk about it!" Jimmy grabbed Lucius by the back of the shirt and carried him into the house. The next thing Lucius knew, he was thrown into his favorite recliner.

Clamoring to get off of his head, the red, devil-like monster peeled himself out of the cushions. But just as he hopped out of his chair, Jimmy pushed him back into it.

"Now, Lucy… Just tell me how you feel." The rambunctious human began, pulling up a footstool and sitting right in front of his unwilling host. Lucius cringed.

He'd never spill to anyone and that went double for spilling to _Two-Shoes_! Lucius tried to escape, scrambling over the armrest of the chair.

"No! You'll feel better once you get it off of your chest!" Jimmy grabbed his ankles and pulled him back into the chair. Lucius was not amused; he was furious.

"STOP!" The short, red, devil-like monster spat, slapping the boy's hand. "I don't _wanna_ to talk!"

And even if that wasn't painfully obvious, Jimmy acted like he heard nothing.

"Wait! What two bonding friends need is SNACKS!" The boy cheered. "I'll got get some! You're kitchen's this way, right Lucy?"

Though Lucius was not going to answer him, Jimmy scampered off to the kitchen. He face-palmed. Of all the aggravating, grating, nerve-rending, age-inducing, rage-provoking people in the world, _Two-Shoes_ had to show up at his door! _NOW_ of all times!

"I'm… going… to… KILL _him_." Lucius said to himself as his blood pressure shot through the roof. Then he zipped out of sight, looking for a weapon to blow Two-Shoes into an early, premature grave.

About a minuet later, Jimmy ran out of the kitchen with a big bowl of popcorn and a big bottle of wine.

"LUCY-LICIOUS! Where's your bottle opener? I can't get the lid off of this sparkling grape soda!" The boy was totally oblivious to the alcohol in his grasp or its true value. Jimmy set the snacks on the coffee table, in front of the TV. "Hey! Where'd you go?!"

And then he heard a weird click behind him and then something touch his head. Turning, Jimmy was looking into a barrel of a HUGE weapon that Lucius held point blank between his eyes.

"Cool! What is this?" The teen human questioned, stupid to the fact that there was a weapon's aim resting on him. "Is this your security toy?"

Lucius awed at Jimmy's ignorance.

"What?" He spat, arching a brow. Jimmy gave a playful scoff.

"Security toy! You know, something that you don't let go of when faced with emotional problems!" The boy chirped. Oh… Lucius's trigger finger was _itching_.

"You are certifiable." The short monster hissed. "I'm not talking, especially to _you_! Now I give you one last, little warning before I pull the trigger… Get _OUT_ of my HOUSE!"

But Jimmy was no longer standing in front of the weapon. Lucius glanced to the side and saw the nutty boy trying to open a very rare bottle of imported wine… with his _teeth_. The red, devil-like monster gave a girly yelp and dropped the weapon.

"STOP! DON'T DO THAT!" Lucius ran over to the boy. "That's a very, very, VERY expensiv-!"

BOOM! The bottle exploded, drenching the entire area in expensive, rare and irreplaceable wine. Jimmy giggled.

"Whoa! Guess there was a little too much bubbles in that bottle!" The boy said, shaking like a dog to get the wine off of him. "But I SAVED the popcorn!"

Lucius's face turned dark red and it wasn't the wine on his skin that gave him such a color; he was miffed… ROYALLY miffed. Snarling, he dove back to his weapon and plucked it from the ground. Cackling like he'd lost his mind, Lucius set his eye on the sight and aimed right at Jimmy's big head. He was about to pull the trigger when-…

"Boy, it's a good thing Heloise told me you were having a crisis!" Jimmy blurted out, fluffing the pillows on Lucius's favorite chair. The monster felt his scowl disappear.

"Really? Heloise told you that?" Lucius's voice was just above a whisper as he dropped his aim. The blond boy gave him a big grin.

"Yup! Heloise said that she was worried and that I should come see you right away!" Jimmy cheered. "She tried to make Beezy visit you instead but he's busy hiding under the couch."

Lucius blinked and then dropped the weapon to the floor. Heloise… was worried? About _HIM_? A goofy smile spread over his face. Then he heard Jimmy chuckle.

"Pretty crazy how your lunch with Heloise turned into a big, gossip-y DATE thing, huh Lucy?" The boy commented. "Too funny. I really believed it there for a second."

The short, red, devil-like monster peered at Jimmy.

"Why would you say that, Two-Shoes?" He questioned. Jimmy smiled.

"Well, for the fact that you two spend a lot of time together since, you know, Heloise works for you." The boy answered. "When she's not with me an' Beezy, she's at her lab. She's at work all hours of the day, with _you_. The idea of you two suddenly dating wasn't so crazy."

For once Lucius was grateful for the teen's innocent, usually honest remarks. Yes. It was NOT so far fetched that they would date. Now that he thought about it, even JEZ, his official girlfriend, wasn't with him as much as Heloise. The thought made a fluttery feeling jump around Lucius's insides.

"But after a second, I knew it couldn't be true." Jimmy chirped. "You're kinda old to be with Heloise. Besides, you're her BOSS. How awkward would it be if she dated her supervisor and the father of Beezy?"

Lucius felt his scowl return with childish vengeance. It wasn't as far fetched as Jimmy said; _right_?

"So that's why I'm here, Lucy!" The boy threw his arms into the air. "To make you feel better!"

The short devil-like monster just grimaced as the blond human teen.

"You've done nothing but make me feel WORSE!" Lucius spat. Then Jimmy plucked him from the floor and set him on the chair.

"That's because we haven't talked about your feelings!" He beamed. Jimmy grabbed the popcorn bowl and sat on the foot rest in front of Lucius. "C'mon! Let's talk!"

Lucius sunk into his chair and scowled. Then a brilliant idea hit him.

"Let me just make a quick phone call, m'kay?" He said as fakely excited as he could. Jimmy nodded.

Digging in his suit jacket he retrieved his cell phone. Punching in Beezy's number, Lucius prayed that his son would answer. Finally someone answered.

"Hello?" It was Heloise. Lucius swallowed hard and suddenly felt a cold sweat coming on.

"This is Lucius. Is Beezy there?!" He hurried glancing at Jimmy. The boy was still sitting there, watching him with that STUPID smile.

Heloise giggled.

"Beezy's under the couch, Lucy. And it looks like he's not coming out for a while." The girl responded. Lucius fought of an aggravated yell.

"Heloise! You've _got_ to come and get Jimmy!" He whispered into his phone. "I don't know how long I can look at him without becoming a _murderer_!"

And another giggle from Heloise.

"Is your "talk" not going so well?" She chirped. Lucius slapped his forehead.

"You know MUCH better than having Two-Shoes talk to me!" He snarled. "If you're so worried, why don't YOU talk to me?!"

It was in that second that Lucius realized what he'd just said. A deep, dark flush flew onto his face as he curled a finger into his shirt's collar. He waited for her answer. There was silence for a long time before Heloise spoke again.

"I tried… back at the office." She returned, her tone sounding kinda low. "But I thought that if I couldn't persuade you to talk, Jimmy could MAKE you talk."

Lucius felt a "thank you for thinking of me" teetering on his tongue but then he heard Jimmy breathe. Looking up, the boy was leaning over his chair and nearly in his face, that crazy smile shining down at him. Lucius squirmed.

"Please! Please get this kid out of my face! I'm _begging_ you Heloise!" He whispered to the phone. "I'll do ANYTHING!"

Heloise gave a little snicker and he immediately regretted his words.

"Done. Hand the phone to Jimmy." The girl instructed. Lucius took the phone from his ear.

"Uh… telephone." He shoved it into Jimmy's chest. The boy took it with a smile.

"Yellow?" Jimmy chirped, taking a step back. Lucius breathed a sigh of relief but it only lasted for a second. "Really? You want me back home? Beezy needs someone to talk to? Okay! I'll be right over! Lucy is all yours, Heloise."

And the blond teen boy closed the phone and turned back to Lucius.

"Beezy is having an even bigger crisis than you, Lucy!" Jimmy looked worried. "My best friend calls! But don't worry; Heloise said she'd be right over to talk to you!"

The red, devil-like monster swallowed loudly, a cold sweat coming over his neck. He didn't even hear Jimmy run out of his house. Oh boy. What could Heloise want? Lucius agreed to do anything. Whatever Heloise had in mind, it probably wasn't going to be pretty. And then his phone rang again.

"Hello?" Lucius peeped, curled up in a ball on his chair.

"Meet me at my lab, Lucius. I have something for you there." It was Heloise again. She had a business-like, neutral tone.

Lucius's imagination went wild.

"Uh… you going to tell me what it is?" The short, red, devil-like monster asked carefully. The teen girl just snickered.

"No. You'll find out at my lab, Lucy. Chop, chop." Heloise responded in her sweet voice. Then she hung up the phone without a "goodbye".

Lucius swallowed hard. What an inappropriate and BAD time to see Heloise again! She was up to something, which made it increasingly WORSE for Lucius. He had to take steps to cover his butt; drastic steps.

Heloise stood inside her lab, poised to pounce at the door. So Jimmy didn't get Lucius to spill; he did one _better_! Lucius agreed to do whatever she asked in exchange for getting Jimmy away from him. Now it was time to get to the bottom of his bizarre behavior. The teen girl hid in the dark of her lab, waiting for her boss to walk in. Then her planning and manipulating paid off; Heloise heard footfalls. Holding her breath as the computer recognized Lucius's handprint, the door opened with a hiss. Now was her chance.

"GOTCHA!" Heloise declared as her boss walked into her dark lab. Swing with the skill of a warrior twice her age, she slammed a new invention over Lucius's throat.

As both of them tumbled in the dark, Heloise took a remote control out of her pocket.

"Now SPILL! What are you hiding?!" She exclaimed. Silence from Lucius. "Fine. You force my hand!"

And Heloise slammed her hand onto the remote's biggest button. That triggered electricity to flow from the collar into Lucius's body. Heloise heard a wet gasp and her boss's body twitch from under her.

"That's the lowest setting for my new shock collar! Don't make me use anything higher! _TALK_!" The girl ordered. She then heard a whimper.

"Okay! _Okay_!" But the pitiful voice didn't belong to her boss. It sounded like… _Samy_? "Sometimes I eat my own dandruff!"

Heloise scrambled off of her boss's assistant.

"What the-?" She blurted out, surprised. And then the lights flicked on.

The girl craned around to see a very smug Lucius leaning against the wall under the light switch.

"Mother." Samy hissed in pain as he writhed on the floor. The girl frowned as Lucius chuckled.

"Surprise, Heloise." The short, devil-like monster smirked. Heloise smoldered.

"_Not_ funny!" She spat, throwing the remote to the ground. The remote then fired another blast of electricity into Samy's neck; he shrieked.

Lucius disagreed.

"No… It's _really_ funny." He gave a twisted smile. Heloise stomped over to him.

"This was meant for _you_, Lucy!" She growled, pointing a finger in his face. Lucius gave an easy shrug.

"When you start giving me gifts, Heloise, I know that electricity and pain are usually involved." He told her, easing her finger out of his face. Then Lucius gave her a dangerous glare. "Now… trying to fit your boss with an electric collar is a good way to get fired, Heloise. Explain yourself."

Heloise pulled her hand out of his and glowered.

"Don't act like that!" She spat. "_You've_ got a plan that I'm somehow involved in! I wanna know _why_ and _what_ you're playing at!"

For being usually sassy, disrespectful but conniving, Heloise seemed impulsive and paranoid. Lucius didn't stop a big smile from spreading over his face.

"I appreciate the unwarranted suspicion of my motives, Heloise, but if a big shock collar is all you called me down here for, I have other things I've got to get done. Am I clear?" He commented, folding his arms. The girl gaped at him.

"No! This is not my fault!" She declared. "Don't you DARE turn this around on me! _You're_ the one acting nutty! The Lucius I work for would never _hug_ me!"

Lucius would have blushed and choked, but he even impressed himself when he kept his sarcastic expression.

"If I recall correctly, YOU walked into ME." The red, devil-like monster pressed his finger to Heloise's nose. "But…" And he zipped over to Samy, still writhing on the floor and peered at the shock collar. "I see numerous, devious uses for your little collar birthed out of your raving delusions."

He looked over at her.

"Since I really like your new invention, I will not fire you." Lucius spoke as he scooped the shock collar's remote off of the floor and walked back over to her. "But I recommend NOT trying this again. Am I clear?"

Heloise narrowed her eyes at him and crossed her arms defiantly. She didn't respond but Lucius took her angry silence as a yes.

"Good." He put the remote into his suit jacket's pocket and straightened his tie. "Samy! Come! I want to get back home."

Samy sat up and pointed at the shock collar, so fried that he couldn't say a word.

"No, no. It looks good on you! I think I'll keep it!" Lucius returned with a sly grin. Samy began clawing at the collar, trying desperately to get it off of him.

Lucius just chuckled sinisterly as he walked to the door.

"Oh, and Heloise?" He poked his head out from the doorway. Heloise glared at him. "Two-Shoes told me you sent him. Thanks for thinking of me."

And he winked at her before disappearing. Heloise stood there, frozen and with her jaw on the floor as Samy hopped out of the room, wrenching at the collar. But now she was certain she wasn't crazy.

"Raving delusions, my _foot_." Heloise narrowed her eyes as she mentally replayed Lucius's wink. Something was up with him.

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Review! LONG LIVE ROCK!


	6. Yesterday's Nothings

Hello Saints and Sinners! CJzilla here with another chapter. In this update, Lucius gets a letter from Jez but he's having too much fun with Heloise to even care. Enjoy.

As I rampage all over this city, alls CJzilla has to roar is this: R&R! Love... hate... review.

**AN: CJzilla owns nothing of Mrs. Barry...**

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_"Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke."_

**Lynda Barry**

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Chapter 6

_Yesterday's Nothings_

The next morning, after a full night of rest, Lucius Heinous VII was rather fidgety but in a good mood. Despite the ups and downs of yesterday, at the end of the day, Heloise was concerned enough to try and make him talk. If causing him a little misery with her well-meaning actions was a sign that she cared for him, Lucius wasn't complaining. Sipping his morning coffee, the short devil-like monster found himself walking a hallway of the factory, far away from his office. His reason for leaving his cushy, quiet office and walking inside the factory? Simple: Heloise.

Lucius walked into the windowed room high above Heloise's production floor. Zipping up to the large, bay window, the short-devil like monster pressed his face against the glass. His eyes swept over the work floor before he saw Heloise's petite form. She was standing with her back to him but in front of her rapidly assembling doomsday machine. The girl was yelling at one of her helpers, making the small, charred creature cower in fear. Lucius felt himself quiver. Was it possible for her to become hotter?

At finding a twisted smile on his face, the small monster chuckled to himself. His mind was rapidly reverting into a hormonally unruly haze. Sipping his coffee, Lucius was content to watch Heloise. Just as he was in the middle of inappropriate thoughts about what Heloise kept up that cloak-like dress, the teenage girl spun around. She spotted him. Lucius froze, eyes getting uncharacteristically wide and guilty-looking. The girl kept a straight face before her face cracked into a smile. Heloise raised her hand and gave him a wave. Stunned by nonetheless happy about getting caught spying on her, Lucius returned a coy wave. The teenage super-genius gave another grin before turning and shouting at her helpers.

Up in the windowed room, Lucius gave a giddy sigh. Bringing his coffee back up to his lips, he took an extra long sip as he returned to his vulgar thoughts. Was Heloise completely human or did she have something unexpected hidden under that long dress? Did she have a tail? Scales? Or would it be better than he could imagine? Lucius guessed that he would only find out once he saw Heloise without her clothes-

"Boss?" Lucius jumped at the sound of Samy's voice. He didn't even hear the door open! "I've got those forms you asked for. They're on your desk waiting to be signed."

Since his boss's face was to the glass, the short green monster couldn't see his expression. But Samy nearly screamed when Lucius whipped his hand inside his suit jacked and pulled out the shock-collar control. With a flick of a button, the shock collar, still on Samy's neck gave him a painful jolt. The green monster fell to the floor, twitching in agony.

"I will be there shortly, Samy." Lucius sounded curtly and annoyed. "Now get out of here before you irritate me further and I use a higher setting for your new necklace."

Samy shot out of the room faster than the wind itself. Lucius rolled his eyes. That assistant of his always walked in on the most inconvenient times. Then he saw Heloise grab a welder's mask and chase her helpers around with a handsaw. Lucius sighed and felt his mind swim with giddy daydreams.

Walking back into his office, Lucius felt a little lighter than usual. He had to see Heloise again. It was a sort of addiction he had; when he saw and heard the girl, Lucius would feel his chest lighten and his problems become lesser. Stuck in a love-induced haze, Lucius sighed as he sat at his desk. The small devil-like monster stroked the shock collar's control in his pocket. Suddenly his loopy smile dropped as he remembered what Heloise had told him right after she tried to fasten that electric choker to his neck. His bizarre actions were making her question what was really going on with him. She suspected something; some sort of evil plot that he was planning. Though he wondered how that would progress down the line, he adored the attention.

Then an abnormally sweet smell came to Lucius's nose; though, he recognized it right away. It was Jez's perfume. He should know since he paid for the ridiculously over-priced fragrance. Looking around his office, Lucius saw that he was alone. But if Jez wasn't here, why did he smell her perfume? Sniffing the air, he followed his nose. The fragrance was coming from the top drawer of his desk. Quirking a brow, Lucius opened his drawer. His eyes instantly came to a pale pink envelope that seemed to be doused in Jez's perfume.

Picking it up, Lucius read what the envelope said.

""To Lucius, from your little possum"?" He spoke out loud. Well, he'd only called Jez his little possum once; at least she remembered THAT much about their relationship.

Lucius looked at the envelope for a long time, asking himself if he wanted to open it or not. By the weight of the envelope, he could tell that there was some sort of letter inside. What did Jez have to say to him now? Then he came to a conclusion. Why did he care? Jez broke up with him, right? Lucius gave a bitter grin before flicking the envelope to the corner of his desk; missing his trash can. From that moment on, he ignored the letter and got back to work.

Roughly twenty minuets later, Lucius was impatiently paging through stacks of documents. He knew that suggestion box down on the assembly floor was a bad idea since most of these papers were dealing with the "inhumane" way he treated his workers. Tedious as it was, these suggestions did give him a few laughs once in a while as he fed the suggestions through a paper shredder. He scribbled his name on a form and stacked it with the rest. Lucius would rather be elsewhere right now; paperwork being one of the drawbacks of being CEO of a company.

Suddenly the door opened.

"It took you long enough, Samy!" Lucius growled. "I needed my coffee twenty minuets ago!"

"Your horns in a twist, Lucy?" It was Heloise. Lucius looked up.

He saw the girl walk toward him with a smile and a cup of coffee in her hand. For some reason, he felt a scowl come onto his face, even though it was nice to see her.

"What are you doing here?" Lucius mumbled, glaring poison. "You should be back in your workshop."

Heloise just grinned.

"You make it sound like a bad thing." The girl smirked. Lucius narrowed his eyes at her; she was too cheery.

He watched her walk up to his desk and place his coffee in front of him.

"You are my chief inventor, Heloise; NOT my coffee girl." The short, devil-like monster returned, folding his arms skeptically. "What's with the smile?"

Heloise leaned on his desk, batting her big, grey-blue eyes at him.

"I have good news." She readily replied. "I've finished the Persuasion Processor!"

Lucius's face brightened.

"Really? Wow. That was fast!" He subconsciously tapped his pen on his desk. Heloise rolled her eyes.

"I told you it would take me until the end of the week." She responded. Lucius whipped his head to the nearest calendar; Friday… go figure. "Besides, you were watching the final assembly."

The devil-like monster fought off a bashful grin.

"I am just impatient for some misery is all, my dear." Lucius shifted in his seat before gathering a stack of papers. "Let me file these and we'll take it for a test run."

Turning in his chair, Lucius nearly had his claws on his file cabinet when he heard Heloise giggle. Looking back at her, he saw that the girl was grasping Jez's letter.

"Oooo." Heloise mocked getting a malevolent smile on her face as she shook the letter at her boss. "What have we here?"

Lucius rolled his eyes and snapped shut the cabinet.

"If you are thinking that's a source of blackmail, it is; but only for Jez." The short, devil-like monster stated. Heloise then gave a little whine.

"You haven't even opened it!" She complained, looking at the untouched envelope seal. He shrugged.

"Why would I? There's nothing of importance to me in that envelope." Lucius responded hopping out of his chair. Heloise dug her finger into the seal.

"Then, I suppose you wouldn't mind me looking?" She gave a wily grin. He rolled his eyes again as he snatched his coffee off of his desk.

"Go ahead. I was going to shred it any-" Lucius's sentence was cut off by a loud rip of the envelope. As he sipped his coffee, he was surprised how greedily the teenage girl read Jez's letter.

Heloise's dark blue-grey eyes zipped left to right for several long seconds before she looked up at him. There was a curious, if a little bemused look on her face.

"She's asking to get back together with you, Lucy." Heloise held up the letter and pointed at it. An evil smile split Lucius's face.

"I knew that from the moment I laid eyes on the envelope." He returned. "There is no one in Miseryville like Lucius Heinous VII. Jez found that out the hard way; not too many rich men are willing to spend as much as I did on her."

The girl glanced at the letter again.

"She always says something like she's lonely, that she was impulsive to break up with me and that she will never do it again. Then she gives many grand, seductive yet hollow promises." Lucius looked at his coffee cup before sipping it again. "Am I right, Heloise?"

Heloise looked up from the letter with a smirk.

"Nearly word for word." She responded. Lucius chuckled and walked to one of his big bay windows looking out over Miseryville.

Then he heard Heloise's voice next to him.

"Jez sounds pretty desperate. Are you going to-…?" The girl swiftly trailed off, suddenly feeling awkward about her question. Lucius glanced at her.

"What? Get back together with her?" Then he gave a dry, sarcastic laugh. "The old-perfume-drenched-sweet-nothings-letter trick used to work on me. Jez may be pretty but she's high- maintenance and high-dollar. She's not getting another kiss OR cent out of me. I'm not going back to her."

Heloise's jaw went slack slightly. Lucius maintained his haughty smirk.

"Wait. At the beginning of the week, you were willing to dance in a tutu for her. Why the 360 degree change?" The girl questioned. Lucius quirked his brow at her question.

Then his forehead relaxed and a pensive expression crossed his face as his eyes traced back to his coffee. Heloise's question was silly; at least to him. The answer was very simple and straightforward. He found someone better and in his opinion, prettier than the fair Jez: the girl that was standing in front of him now.

"I'm sick of her." The short devil-like monster heard himself respond casually. "Besides, there's someone better-"

And then he instantly closed his mouth, snapping his wide eyes to Heloise. The wide smile on the girl's face seared into his mind. She didn't have to say a word; she now knew that he was in love with someone else. Lucius prayed that Heloise wouldn't connect the dots; that she wouldn't figure out that he was desperately longing for HER. A scowl slammed onto Lucius's face as he shut his eyes.

"Let's get a move on, Heloise." The devil-like monster rushed to the door, mentally beating himself. "I want to try out my new misery machine today."

As he opened the door, he motioned for Heloise to walk out first. But to his surprise yet interest, the girl was feeding Jez's letter into the paper shredder. After watching the machine eat the frilly paper and spit out its minced remains, she turned to Lucius and gave him a wicked smile.

"Now it's official. My little Lucy's all grown up." Heloise remarked as she walked over to the door and him. Lucius watched her go with a thoughtful look on his face.

Did she just flirt with him? He probably will never know.

A black, foreboding shadow came over the horizon of Miseryville. As monsters raised their heads, they saw a mass of metal rumbling toward downtown. The machine thundered into the middle of Miseryville's busiest district before it suddenly stopped. At the top of the intimidating metallic cone, a shielded compartment emerged. Seen at the steering wheel of the contraption was Lucius Heinous VII; the citizens then knew what was shortly to follow.

"Attention populace! Cower before the might of Misery Inc's new invention! …The Persuasion Processor!" Lucius's voice was carried through loud speakers. The monsters on the street froze, gasps stuck in their throats.

Lucius relished the stunned silence that followed. Time to inflict misery. Flipping a red switch near the steering wheel, he activated the Persuasion Processor's main feature. Compartments width-wise along the machine's shiny exterior opened. And the long blades unfolded. By then the screaming started.

"Let's cut a rug, Miseryville." Lucius gave a malevolent chuckle before the blades began to spin. With a strong wind and a loud whirling sound, the machine began to cut up anything that got in its way.

Buildings were sliced in half, trees were diced and cars were chopped up before they were overturned. Fire, screams and chaos filled the air as the Persuasion Processor ravaged downtown Miseryville. Lucius was delighted when the giant machine easily tore through the city. As the townsfolk ran for their lives, he just laughed and laughed and laughed. This was a perfect ending to a wonderful day. Or was it? From behind him, Lucius heard an annoyed sigh.

Heloise was leaning over the edge of her misery machine as she watched the town be cut up into a million pieces. The mayhem was wonderful but she would have liked it a lot more if SHE was the one inflicting it. But realistically, that came with the job. She'd invent misery-inducing things, Lucius would take all of the credit and with it, get the opportunity to use it. And Heloise was always stuck watching and longing as Miseryville was leveled.

Suddenly, the machine pulled to a stop. Blinking, Heloise thought that there was something wrong with her creation's drive-shaft. Instead, though, she felt a tap on her shoulder. Heloise looked up.

"You want a go, Heloise?" It was Lucius. Surprise shot onto her young face.

"What?" The girl blinked at her boss. The short, red, devil-like monster just grinned.

"Do you want to drive?" Lucius asked, gesturing to the unmanned steering wheel. A giant smile spread over her face.

"Yes!" Heloise chirped. Lucius smiled and stepped to the side.

The girl ran to the steering wheel, gripped it and gave an evil smile. Stepping beside Heloise, Lucius merely watched as she shifted the machine into drive. The menacing blades began to move again and spin an evil sound. Closing his eyes, Lucius soaked in the misery. Then he felt Heloise touch his ear. Opening his eyes, Lucius glanced at the girl.

"Uh… Thanks, Lucius." In Heloise's eyes was sincerity that he'd never seen exercised on him before. She held those bewitching grey-blue orbs onto his for a long moment before casting them forward again.

The small, devil-like monster gave a genuine smile.

"You're welcome, my dear." Lucius responded.

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Review! LONG LIVE ROCK!


	7. Detour

Hello Saints and Sinners! CJzilla here with another chapter. In this chapter Heloise and Lucius both take a detour but find themselves drawn closer together. Enjoy.

As I rampage all over this city, alls CJzilla has to roar is this: R&R! Love... Hate... Review

**AN: CJzilla owns nothing of Mr. Parker and Mr. Stone...**

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_"Love isn't a decision. It's a feeling. If we could decide who we loved, it would be much simpler, but much less magical."_

**Trey Parker and Matt Stone**, _South Park, Chef Aid, 1998_

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Chapter 7

_Detour_

Lucius felt his eyelids separate far earlier than he wanted. It was Saturday; the weekend and that was a good enough reason to sleep in later than usual. Blinking his dry eyes, he rolled over and peered at his bedside clock. He groaned when he saw the time. Six a.m.

"For misery sake." Lucius grumbled, knowing he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep. Closing his eyes once more, his face tightened with a grimace.

He'd only wake up like this if he'd forgotten something important; normally it would have something to do with Jez. But since they broke up, that wasn't the case. It must have something to do with the business. Mentally paging through what he accomplished yesterday, Lucius realized that he had left some forms unsigned. He couldn't even remember if they were important or not. But then he remembered a rather important document that required his signature. One that ordered new parts and tools for Heloise's workshop. Slapping his forehead and dragging his hand down his face, the red, devil-like monster cursed. THAT document should have been signed and shipped out yesterday.

Grunting, Lucius rolled across his bed and hopped to the floor. He unzipped his bunny-pajamas and threw on his suit. There would be no sleeping in this Saturday morning.

Jimmy, on the other side of the Heinous' Mansion's hedge was jolted from sleep by the slamming of the building's front door. Zapping awake, the fourteen-year-old boy adjusted his camouflage helmet and peeked through the shrubs. Lucius was stomping down his walkway, looking irritated and tired; then Jimmy saw the keys to his Misery Inc office dangling out of his pocket.

"Very unusual Mr. Heinous." Jimmy whispered to himself as the short, devil-like monster stomped toward his expensive car. He watched Lucy get into his car and drive off to Misery Inc. "Better phone this in to Heloise."

The boy took out his cell phone and dialed the girl's number. Jimmy waited and after four long rings, Heloise's tired voice came over the speaker.

"What is it now Jimmy?" She questioned, obviously stirred from a deep sleep. "It's six in the morning. Don't tell me Lucius is drawing the drapes again."

"Uh no." The blond, cheery boy responded. "Lucy's on the move. I just saw him get in his car and drive off to his office."

Silence on the other line.

"Now what could he want at Misery Inc this early in the morning?" Heloise mumbled to herself. Jimmy shrugged, even though she could not see him.

"I dunno; I'm just reporting it." The boy answered. The teenage girl sighed on the other line.

"I'll check it out. Good work Agent Two-Shoes." Heloise returned. Jimmy saluted his cell phone as his friend hung up.

"Agent Two-Shoes NEVER SLEEPS!" He cheered into the air, much to the surprise of the neighbor walking his dog-like monster.

"Get a job, freak!" The monster yelled to Jimmy. Jimmy just gave a wave.

Lucius was inside his office, reading over Heloise's inventory report. Of course he would save the most draining document for last; the inventory report always made his head spin. That is why he never finished it yesterday and why it wouldn't allow him to sleep in this morning. Even thought the list had hundreds of items, there were a few that Heloise could not live without. The three essentials of metal, power-tools and oddly _pencils_ were always in high demand with the girl. So Lucius sat there, carefully reading each item and its purpose so as to make an accurate order.

Just then there was a knock on his office's door. Picking up his head, Lucius blinked.

"Uh… come in?" He called out. The doorknob twisted and he saw Heloise walk in.

Man; she just couldn't stay away from him... With all desirable thoughts cast aside, Lucius merely stared at the girl. Heloise gave a sheepish wave. Lucius then snapped out of his stare.

"Heloise? … Good morning…" Was the only thing to pop out of his mouth. Lucius inwardly slapped himself.

"Yeah." She gave him a funny look. "And what are you doing back here so early this Saturday morning?"

Lucius gave a bored sigh as he rolled his eyes.

"I forgot to complete this yesterday." He picked up the inventory document and held it to her. Heloise took it.

The dirty blond girl quirked a brow in disbelief.

"Inventory?" Heloise then rolled her eyes and walked around Lucius's desk. Laying a hand on one of the drawers, she opened it and pulled out a marker.

"My purpose here is far less glamorous than anything you were thinking." The red, devil-like monster was looking off but when his eyes traced back to the girl he felt a nip of irritation when she didn't give him back the document. "_What_ are you doing?

"I can cut a lot of time off of this, Lucy." The teenage girl responded, moving the marker over the most important items. Half a minuet later, she placed the papers back in front of her boss. "There. All of the important things are marked in red. The rest can wait for Monday's order."

Lucius quirked his brow and picked up a pen.

"Huh. Thanks." He mumbled, signing in the items into the order form. Heloise stood beside him, rocking back on her heels, feeling a wave of embarrassment.

And here she was expecting something far more… eviler when Jimmy told her that Lucius was at his office. She couldn't help but feel a little silly and a whole lot paranoid.

"I should have known it was something like this." The girl gave a wary chuckle. "I mean, why else would you make a mysterious visit to your office on a Saturday morning?"

She saw the short, red, devil-like monster's mouth curl back as he was concentrating.

"I merely overlooked this mind-numbing task while I was busy trashing Miseryville." Lucius gave her an honest answer. "I'd rather be out in a doomsday machine than worrying about paperwork."

Heloise gave a small laugh.

"Who wouldn't?" She returned. Then Lucius's pensive grimace lightened into a smirk.

There was a short pause where the only thing heard was the scribbling pen.

"And you _need_ those energy drinks come Monday morning?" Lucius suddenly asked. He didn't look up as he wrote on the order paper.

Heloise gave a little giggle.

"Energy drinks make my little world go 'round, Lucy." Her boss's smirk remained.

"Fine. You will have your caffeinated beverages when you come in for work Monday morning." Lucius scribed in his name before putting the document on a stack at the corner of his desk. Hopping out of his chair, he pulled out his cell phone.

He dialed in Samy's phone number. His neurotic assistant _would_ place in this order; it was his job. Finally Samy did pick up.

"-ello?" Samy grumbled, groggy and nearly asleep.

"Samy? It's Lucius. I want you go get down to the office right away. I have an inventory order that has to get shipped out today." Lucius barked in an unsympathetic tone that he used exclusively for Samy. "If the items I ordered _don't_ come in first thing Monday morning, I'll make your week miserable. Got it?!"

Samy squeaked in surprised. Lucius looked off as his assistant started firing off excuses. The devil-like monster's eyes traced around his office and settled on Heloise. The girl was looking out his big bay window and watching the morning sun bathe Miseryville. The sunrise lit up her face and made her hair shimmer. Lucius felt a grin stretch across his face as he watched her. Once in a while he would glimpse a delicate, graceful and picturesque woman from inside the girl. But it was her evil side that truly made her beautiful; at least to him anyway. Lucius felt himself melt and his defenses drop.

"Uh… you still there, boss?" Samy's voice caught his attention. Lucius growled.

"Are you still talking?!" He snapped. "I don't CARE what strings you have to pull! Get that order in right NOW!"

Catching a whimper of fear from Samy, Lucius snapped shut his phone. There. Taken care of. Tucking his phone back into his coat pocket, Lucius sighed.

"I've accomplished all I needed to." He voiced, making Heloise turn to him. "And if you are done here, I will lock up."

The dirty blond girl walked over to her boss.

"Then lock up, Lucy." She passed him a smirk as she walked to the door. Lucius followed her.

Shutting his office door and locking it, Lucius turned and found Heloise to be looking at him. With a tilt of his head, he motioned for her to walk with him. A quiet came over the odd couple as they casually walked toward the exit. And then Lucius chuckled.

"I didn't expect to see you here on a Saturday, let alone in my office helping me with inventory." He looked back at her. Then a grin cracked on his face as Heloise rolled her eyes. "Since when do you knock?"

"I don't. Today was an exception." She excused and decided to fire off a little sass to drive home her point. "And I want to be paid overtime for helping you."

"And you expect to be paid for trashing the town yesterday?" Lucius returned. Heloise gave a winched.

"No. And you know what? That's all right. It was worth the sacrifice." She answered. An approving grin stretched over the devil-like monster's face. "On the note of misery, I have an idea for a new invention."

Lucius, hands folded behind his back, held a casual grin.

"Oh?" He acknowledged.

"I was thinking of building a machine that assaults the sense of hearing." Heloise continued. "It should emit a low enough frequency that it shouldn't interfere with day-to-day life but it should also be noticeable to the point of driving its victims mad. Kinda like a mosquito; you can ignore it for a little while but it would become SO irritating, it could make you lose your mind."

A mosquito? Good analogy to what Lucius was feeling right now. He was able to ignore his feelings for Heloise until times like this where the urge to just slam her to the wall and kiss her was nearly unbearable.

"Subtle yet effective; I like it." Lucius responded. "But what about second-hand exposure. How would you prevent people like yourself and I from being effected by it too?"

Heloise grinned.

"I was thinking an ear piece buffer that blocks the low frequency sound waves." The girl returned. Then she shrugged. "It's still up in the air but I thought I'd just shoot it over your nose to see if you like it or not."

Lucius glanced at her.

"It has great promise, like all of your inventions do, my dear." He answered, looking forward again. Heloise was stunned; an honest to goodness compliment came from Lucius Heinous's lips!

Another silence fell upon them as they walked through the maze of hallways. Finally the quiet was just too much to handle; for Heloise anyway.

"I've got to get something from my lab, Lucy." She threw her thumb over her shoulder, her voice getting high. Heloise cursed herself for feeling suddenly nervous around her boss. "Jimmy, Beezy and I are going on a picnic later on today and I need to pick up my inventions notebook. Ideas for torture just come so easily around them. So… I'll, uh… see you Monday?"

Lucius stopped walking and looked at her. For some reason he felt a prick of concern in the back of his mind; he didn't like the idea of leaving her here alone.

"All right." The short, devil-like monster relented. "Until Monday, my dear."

With that he walked to the exit, leaving Heloise in that quiet hallway with a strange look on her face. But Lucius didn't make it far. Out in the parking lot he found his fingers drumming on his car keys as he approached his expensive vehicle. Lucius suddenly felt itchy and restless. Stopping, he looked back at the building. Then he leaned back, resting his butt on the hood of his car. He'd wait. He'd wait for Heloise.

Heloise combed through her stacks of paper loaded onto her workbench. Blue prints of successful inventions unrolled and spilt onto the floor. The girl grunted in dissatisfaction. Scooping up the papers from the floor, she threw them back onto her desk. Now miffed, Heloise began to overturn tables and tools.

"Where IS it?!" She snarled, kicking over trashcans and pulling down filing cabinets. She couldn't find her inventions notebook, but was that really the source of her rage?

No. And though she'd never admit it to herself, Heloise felt something happening to her insides. This intensely giddy discomfort, this squishy excitement dancing upon her liver was making her momentarily bonkers. It hit her as soon as Lucius complimented her inventions and called her "my dear". Yesterday Heloise had a similar feeling when he gave her the steering wheel of her da Vinci inspired death machine. She recognized this sensation but she'd only experienced it with Jimmy. And now she felt the same, if only for a moment, with Lucius.

Heloise cursed herself as insane for letting her emotions out of hand. Lucius was her boss! She'd worked for him for a long time now. She'd seen him good, she'd seen him bad and she'd seen him very bad. Heloise forced herself to think of all the times he'd flew off the handle at her, when he took credit for her inventions and put her life willingly in danger. She recalled his worst days; the days that he was so haggard and ugly that he could scare a buzzard off of a gut wagon. He was petty, megalomaniacal, disgusting and crude. Then WHY could she not banish this fluttery feeling from her stomach?!

"RaAHH!" Heloise overturned her workbench. Papers went everywhere and the light on her desk shattered.

It did little to justify the fact that she was falling for her boss.

Lucius's ears perked up once he heard the front door to Misery Inc open. Looking up, he saw Heloise sulk out of the building, her notebook in hand.

"Heloise!" He heard himself call out. The girl jumped and whipped her head in his direction.

A funny look came over her face before anger fogged over her expression.

"If you're having car trouble, I'm not on the clock until Monday, Lucius!" She snapped.

"Do you want a ride?" Lucius returned. Now Heloise looked totally stunned.

"A ride? I live only a mile from work!" She pointed down the street. Then he felt a wave of nervousness.

Willing himself a straight face, he inhaled as his mind swam for excuses.

"Uh… I hear it's going to rain today." Lucius blurted out. Nice; he inwardly slapped himself.

"Rain? There's not a cloud in the sky!" Heloise turned and started to walk toward him. "And there isn't supposed to be rain the entire weekend! I checked the weather for the picnic."

Now Heloise was standing across from him, giving him a distrustful, skeptical expression. Lucius let an angry look come over his face.

"You live close to my house. I was just offering you a ride; save you the walk." He returned. The teenage girl wasn't buying it.

"By telling me it's going to rain?" Heloise narrowed her grey-blue eyes at him. Finally Lucius was fed up with looking stupid.

"Fine. Walk until your legs or whatever appendages you have hidden up that dress fall off." Tapping the lock on his car's keychain, the driver's door opened and he dove inside like the ground was red-hot. Once inside the safety of his tinted-windowed car, Lucius breathed a sigh of frustration. "Brat."

He barely put his claws on the shifter when the passenger side door opened. Heloise climbed into his car with a smug smile on her face. Lucius felt a scowl slam on his face as she merely smiled at him. She knew he knew that he made a fool out of himself. Huffing, he shifted into reverse and pulled out of the parking lot.

The ride to Heloise's house was far less _sensational_ than Lucius had envisioned. What was he expecting; _realistically_? Now he couldn't wait to get the girl out of his car. Lucius was even thinking of dumping her out at the next stop sign.

"Oh, don't be such a sour puss, Lucy." Heloise quipped. "You make a fool out of yourself a lot."

Lucius huffed again, resting his cheek in his hand as he drove along.

"I mean if I had a nickel for every loony, ultimately fool-inducing action you've ever done, I'd be richer than you." The girl continued. The short, devil-like monster felt his eye twitch. "Oh, look! I thought I saw a raindrop! Wait… no. That was a tear you are inwardly crying because I make you look stupid."

"I'm not crying." Lucius grumbled. Heloise giggled.

"Yeah, but you should see your face." The girl teased. "You get this sulky, "something-died-in-my-mouth" look every time you don't get your way."

So what if he was scowling?

"Aw. Am I annoying you, Lucy?" He heard Heloise pry. A cold smirk surfaced on his face.

"Your incessant talking is leading me to believe I am making _you_ uncomfortable, Heloise." Lucius shot back. "When you get nervous or uncomfortable, your mouth does a lot of running."

He stole a glance at her, momentarily taking his eyes off of the road. Now Heloise had that "something-died-in-my-mouth" look.

"So enough about me, what about you?" He dug deeper under her skin. "You must have had a _good_ reason to visit my office on a Saturday."

"My notebook." The girl mumbled, sinking into her seat. Oh, Lucius loving this.

"So why come to my office? Your workshop is at the other end of the building." He pried. Heloise sighed.

"It's not important, especially to someone like _you_." She growled. And that's where Lucius's grin dropped off of his face.

He WAS happy to see Heloise this morning but he was really curious; what was important enough to drag her to his office on a Saturday. Lucius opened his mouth to say something in return but he got distracted by something stepping into the street.

"Weavil…" He cooed ominously. Shifting his car into overdrive, he aimed for the furry, weasel-like monster. "Hang on, Heloise. We're making a detour."

Heloise scarcely had time to grip the door handle when Lucius craned his car to the left. Pulling to a quick stop, they now had the Weavil in their crosshairs. Heloise heard an evil, silky chuckle from Lucius.

"Your butt is mine, you big-nosed, furry _freak_!" He growled through a toothy smile. The short devil-like monster revved the engine.

By that time, the Weavil spotted them. Fear came over his furry features as Lucius powered up the engine and inched closer. Heloise's eyes darted from the innocent Weavil to her crazed boss.

"Uh… Lucy-?" And then the weasel-like monster bolted.

"YES!" Lucius cried, crashing his foot on the accelerator. Heloise felt her breath slammed out of her as her body was buried into the car seat.

And they zoomed after the Weavil, intent on making it a smear on the pavement.

Finally, after an hour of chasing and ultimately catching that terrified Weavil, Lucius and Heloise pulled up to Heloise's house. Both were cruelly laughing. Setting the vehicle into park, Lucius wiped tears of laughter from his eyes. Heloise was having a hard time holding her head up since she was still laughing.

"He'll never walk right again!" She guffawed, her face red from her loud. Lucius giggled, massaging the cramps out of his face.

Finally their laughter died down enough so that they could speak.

"Any Weavil that steps out into the street is fair game in my book." Lucius voiced. "It's even better once they're running in zigzags."

"I never thought Weavils could scream like that." Heloise sighed, sinking into her seat and holding her chest. "Oh… That was _great_, Lucy!"

Lucius's face softened with a smile.

"It was great, wasn't it?" He returned. "We should do this more often."

And then a silence fell over the car as Heloise and Lucius gave each other a deep look. Faces straight but speaking a million unuttered words, their eyes met and held a silent conversation.

His hands itched to move and his very fibers told him to excuse her from the car, but Lucius couldn't. The sunlight shone off of Heloise's smooth dirty-blond hair and made her eyes all the more haunting. You could see the calculating maliciousness radiating from her dark blue-grey eyes, but they also projected something else; something that could steal your soul and devour it in front of you. And that made him drop to his knees.

Heloise found the shadows of the cab covering Lucius's face. The silhouette of his face emphasized how powerful the short, devil-like monster before her was. His dark eyes were speaking in a voice that grew to such a volume in her mind that it was dazzling. There was a force behind him that seemed to slice into you and cut you down. Heloise was feeling a draw to the devil-like monster that she couldn't deny and could not resist. For once Heloise's mind blanked.

Suddenly there was a tap on the car's window. Tearing his eyes off of Heloise, Lucius looked beyond her shoulder. Standing outside, with their faces practically pressed on the glass, were Jimmy Two-Shoes and Beezy. Feeling a grimace come to his face, Lucius rolled his eyes and hit a button near his left hand. The window rolled down. Jimmy and Beezy's faces spilled into the car.

"Hey guys. Whatchya doin'?" Jimmy questioned in a skeptical, unusually serious way. Lucius just frowned.

"Lucius just gave me a ride home from work." Heloise replied readily. She reached for the door handle as Beezy and Jimmy stared at Lucius.

Hopping out of the car, Heloise shut the door and looked at Lucius.

"Thanks for the ride." She gave him a smile. The short, devil-like monster gave her a twisted smile.

"Anytime." Then his eyes shot to Jimmy and Beezy. "Stop your drooling. You're fogging the paint."

Heloise looked back at her friends to see their jaws on the ground and speechlessly staring. She found her face getting strangely warm as she heard the car window roll up. Without another word, Lucius pulled away from the three friends. Jimmy, Beezy and Heloise watched him drive down the street and disappear. Then her friends turned to her.

"What was _that_ all about?" Beezy threw his thumb over his shoulder. Jimmy nodded.

"Yeah! You're an hour late!" The blond boy threw his arms in the air. Heloise gave them a blank look.

"Uh… I helped Lucy with inventory." She returned. "And then we took a detour."

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Review! LONG LIVE ROCK!


	8. Pandora's Box

Hello Saints and Sinners! Sorry about the LOOONG awaited update. No inspiration came to until 2 yesterday morning. In this chapter Heloise is feeling strange while Lucius gives into Jez. Enjoy!

As I rampage all over this city, alls CJzilla has to roar is this: R&R! Love... Hate... Review.

**AN: There are sexual innuendos in this chapter... so young ones... ye been warned. And I will do a "dear reviewers" next chapter. Sign in and I'll reply. I own nothing from Aesop!**

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_"It is with our passions, as it is with fire and water, they are good servants but bad masters."_

**Aesop **_Greek slave & fable author (620 BC - 560 BC)_

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Chapter 8

_Pandora's Box_

The park was sunny and warm. As the dingy red clouds floated overhead, children were laughing softly in the distance. But Heloise was too distracted to enjoy the relative happiness of Miseryville. Her nose was inside her notebook but her pencil was strangely still. Sighing, the teenage girl tapped the tip of her pencil on the paper, wishing her thoughts were straight enough for evil ideas.

"Exploding shoes? Nah; too terrorist." Heloise muttered to herself, shifting in her seat. "Flesh-eating hats? No; too fashion forward. Would soggy newspapers-…? Bah! No! That's _stupid_!"

Unbeknownst to the fidgety girl, Jimmy and Beezy were silently studying her. As they ate their picnic lunch, they watched Heloise become more and more upset. Curious as to why she was even more on edge than usual, they looked at each other.

"What do you think put a bee in Heloise's dress?" Jimmy whispered to his best friend. Beezy J. Heinous finished chewing the huge mouthful of Tater Toads and glanced at his friend.

"What _doesn't_ put a bee in her undies?" The lazy devil-like monster returned. Jimmy frowned.

"That doesn't help me at all." He grunted. Beezy shrugged.

"It's hard to tell with that girl. Anything and everything sets her off." The teenage monster returned. Then he noted a scared look on Jimmy's face.

A second later, Beezy heard an angry growl next to him. Turning his head, he saw that Heloise was done cursing at her notebook and had heard everything he just said.

"Uh-… When I say "everything", I meant that in the best possible way, Heloise." Beezy peeped, seeing the seething look on her face. The girl just gave him a glare that cut him in half.

Getting up from the picnic blanket, Beezy ran off screaming. Heloise stood there, rigid, as she watched the teenage monster run for his life. She'd sharpen her cleaver just for him!

"You seem… distracted, Heloise." She heard Jimmy carefully say. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Heloise's eyes softened and gradually traced to Jimmy's.

"It's work." She answered candidly. The blond fourteen-year-old boy gave a goofy, care-free smile.

"Aw! It's JUST work! You'll figure it out!" Jimmy swatted the air like he was wiping away her problem. Heloise just looked vaguely frightened.

Jimmy had no idea what her problem was. Heloise couldn't get Lucius's arrogant and smug smile out of her head. Her insides were fluttery and her thoughts, if any, were scatterbrained and incomprehensible.

Lucius, on the other hand, couldn't be happier. It was Saturday and he was feeling strangely carefree and relaxed. He hadn't felt like this in a long time and he knew precisely the reason for this goofy, lazy attitude. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Heloise's evil smile. She enjoyed terrorizing Weavils as much as he did. Lucius remembered how the girl's laugh changed once she laughed so hard that she cried. A hiss, like a snake was all that came out of her mouth. He thought it was adorable.

The red, devil-like monster sighed as he slipped on his golf caddie onto his back. Decked out in unbearably mismatched and frilly golf clothes, Lucius was ready to tee off at the local golf club. Stopping at a nearby mirror, he straightened his bright orange hat and grinned at his appearance. So far, this day had proved amazing. Not only had he gotten some alone time with Heloise, she seemed to enjoy it as much as he did. And best of all… he counted that as another date. An evil smile split his face as he gazed into the mirror. Heloise was totally in the dark; she didn't suspect a thing. Lucius wanted to keep it that way, either until something changed or he was caught. Pushing his hat over his eyes, the short devil-like monster thought he was quite clever. And then the doorbell rang.

Annoyed that it was Saturday and his butler had the day off, Lucius shuffled toward the door. Who could it be this time? If it was Beezy here to ask more questions or Two-Shoes to give him another "pep talk", he'd tear them down right at the front step. Flicking the doorknob, a scowl was on his face as he greeted his visitor.

"What?!" Lucius growled through his teeth. To his surprise, it was Jez; this merited an eyebrow quirk. "Jez? What are you-?"

But the spoiled cat-like monster pushed past him and walked into his house with her nose in the air.

"I've come to pick you my things." She returned snobbishly. Lucius blinked.

"What? You ain't got _any_ stuff here!" He fumed, leaving the door wide open. "Now get out of my house before I get mad."

But Jez just ignored him and walked into the living room. Lucius slapped his forehead. He would rip that interchangeable nose RIGHT off her face.

"JEZ!" He snarled, stomping after her. Following his ex-girlfriend into the living room, he caught her standing in front of the fireplace, looking up at the big painting hanging over head. "Perhaps I didn't make my self clear. GET your prissy carcass _OUT_ of my house and _OFF_ of my property before I-!"

Jez merely tutted at his outburst and spun to face him.

"Are you going to shut up or do I have to take this coat off by myself?" A saucy smile came over her painted lips as she fluffed the big fur coat around her curvy body. Lucius narrowed his eyes.

Yes, he was very well aware of that fur coat and the fact that she may not be wearing anything underneath it.

"_Keep_ that coat on… and get out of my house." Lucius frowned and pointed rudely at the door. Jez's seductive smile cracked.

She sighed loudly.

"What's wrong with you, Lucius?" The anthromorphic cat monster let her light golden eyes roll to the ceiling as she moved toward her ex-boyfriend. "I've called, I've sent you letters and now here I am, ready to make up with you." She stopped in front of him and let her coat glide off of a shoulder, exposing her tiny bustier and cleavage. "And you never returned anything. What do I have to do to save what we have?"

Lucius would be lying if he said he wasn't totally swayed by Jez and her… racy open invitation. But he knew her tricks too well. Now it was time for some payback. Lucius let a cold smirk rise on his face after glancing over her chest.

"What's the matter, Jez? Can't find another rich man to seduce who spent what I did on you?" He gave an evil grin as Jez looked taken aback. "And after all the letters and messages, you're desperate enough to come to my house and make a complete fool out of yourself? Ha! I know you _too_ well."

Jez stood straight, placed a hand on her hip and scoffed.

"Yeah? Well… I know you well, too, Lucius!" And then an evil smile came to her face. "I know you won't and _can't_ resist me."

She let that thick fur coat open fully. Lucius felt his breath hitch. What would happen if he gave in again? No one would know and then he'd dump Jez for sure. But his pride stood in the way; momentarily, at least.

"I will not be your lunch ticket anymore, _Jezebel_." Lucius spat, putting on a convincing face. "And that's your own fault. There's the door. Leave _NOW_!"

Jez's evil smile took a turn for the worst; she knew he was bluffing. Lucius sighed, gritted his teeth and felt the last of his resistance evaporate. Finally he looked up at the gold-digger and shook his head. As if on cue, Jez jumped on him and mauled him right there on the rug.

Heloise and Jimmy walked toward the Heinous family mansion. Heloise was nervously fiddling with a gizmo in her fingers. It was a prototype of the misery-inducing high-frequency noise maker. Well, the actual invention was back at her house; this was just a noise buffer to block out the high-frequency sound waves. She made two; one for her and the other, this one, for Lucius. Why was Jimmy with her? Heloise wanted to try something with him beside her. _If_ she was in fact feeling an amorous feeling for Lucius, it would be confirmed and she would be sure that it wasn't Jimmy causing her to act loopy. That… and she needed the support.

"I still can't believe you threw that thing together with a dozen paperclips, two foil gum wrappers and an old electric alarm clock." Jimmy's voice brought Heloise out of her anxious twiddling. "Talk about impressive. No wonder you are Lucy's go-to gal for inventions!"

Heloise gave a coy chuckle as she rubbed the back of her neck.

"That's why he pays me the big bucks." She choked out, looking up at her friend/crush. "I just have to run this to him."

The cheery blond boy had a pensive look on his face.

"Why? It's Saturday; you don't have to work until Monday." Jimmy remarked, scratching his tuff of hair. Heloise cursed his brain.

"I-… I'm just SO eager to show this to him!" She lied through a fake, eager smile. Jimmy bought it.

"Well, if you're SO proud of your work, why not?" He beamed and returned to walking with his hands in his pockets. Heloise frowned.

She was NOT eager to see Lucius again, considering what she felt in her stomach the last time she saw him. But she wanted to see her boss again; she was definitely NOT happy about this willing, giddy sensation that was running through her body, either!

"Hey… It looks like Lucy has company." Heloise wasn't aware that her eyes were on the ground until Jimmy spoke those seven words. Bringing her eyes up, Heloise felt her mouth fall to the ground as they approached Lucius's house.

There, parked haphazardly in the driveway, was Jez's expensive car. The girl felt something slam into her and kick in her chest. In disbelief, she couldn't recognize the odd sensation. But she never stopped walking.

Heloise brought her knuckles to Lucius's door and knocked loudly. She was on auto-pilot as her brain tried to figure out exactly what was going on. Didn't Lucius break up with Jez? Then why was her car here? Finally, after waiting for what seemed like an eternity, someone came to the door. It was Lucius… in a partially opened robe.

Lucius was pleasure drunk in the only way that a woman can make a man intoxicated. Jez certainly knew her way around a bedroom. And for a moment, he felt that he'd made the right decision by taking advantage of her company. Lucius had no idea how wrong he was and how something was about to be derailed.

Staggering to the door, he nearly fell on his face when he saw Heloise on the other side.

"Heloise-?" Lucius choked. The girl simply glanced at his appearance and finally looked into his eyes. "What-… What brings you here?"

There was a guilty look on his face; Lucius knew he was seen with his hand in the cookie jar.

"Um-…" Heloise couldn't form a comprehensible word as she connected the dots. Jez's car plus Lucius in robe with goofy, love smashed expression, equals…

Before either one of them could say a word, Jez spoke up at the worst possible time.

"Precious?" Her snobbish voice rang through Lucius's house. The short, devil-like monster cringed.

Now, if it wasn't obvious enough, Heloise surly knew that he was with Jez this afternoon.

Heloise would recognize that gold-digger's voice anywhere. She thought Lucius broke up with Jez! She thought that was the last time she'd ever have to acknowledge the frilly-haired cat-like monster! She thought he'd CHANGED!

Lucius's breath was caught in his throat as an icy feeling crept up his spine. He was SO… BUSTED! Suddenly he heard a loud crunch followed by a sparking sound. Whipping his head around, he caught Heloise stomping on a small bibelot that was in her hand a second ago.

"_Oops_!" She snarled, grinding her invention into the concrete of his front step. "I have the slipperiest _BUTTERFINGERS_!"

Heloise was miffed… royally. Finally, after mashing her gadget into dust, she looked up at her boss with raging blue-grey eyes.

"That WAS my newest invention." She fumed. "But seeing that I caught you at a BAD time, IT CAN WAIT UNTIL MONDAY!"

With that, Heloise spun on her heel, smacking Lucius in the face with her ponytail and stomped off of his doorstep.

"Heloise!" Lucius called after her. "Wait a sec!"

That was enough to make the girl stop; momentarily.

"Precious!" Jez's voice was heard again. Heloise's shoulders went rigid and she continued her rampage down the driveway.

Lucius wanted to run after her but something prevented him. It was Jimmy Two-Shoes standing at his mail box, watching everything silently. Though it nearly killed him, Lucius let it go and ducked back into his house.

Heloise heard Lucius slam his front door and she flinched with the sound. She… was… an… idiot; thinking that Lucius would change. Why did she even CARE anyway?! He was Lucius Heinous VII! He'd never change. Thundering past a curiously quiet Jimmy, Heloise's mind was set on her home and getting away from this ridiculously embarrassing situation.

"Heloise! Your invention-!" The boy pipped up. The girl didn't even look up nor answer him.

Heloise's chest around her heart felt like it'd been busted in. Then it she recognized the pain: it was heartbreak. It was official now… Heloise was in love with her boss. So now the girl was nursing a broken heart on top of feeling like a fool.

Lucius slid down his door, face in his hands. Stupid! Stupid! STUPID! HOW could he let this happen?! He had told Heloise that he was through with Jez yet she catches him with her! And that look on her face just before she left! Heloise looked like he'd just punched Two-Shoes in the face! NOW what was going to happen?

"Precious?" Lucius's ears perked up when he heard Jez call for the third time. Suddenly a cold anger spilled out of his nose.

Jez was sprawled out on her "boyfriend's" plush couch, with nothing but her coat draped over her naked body. She felt contented, not for the fact that she'd just-… had her way with Lucius but the fact that he'd surly take her back now. If there was one thing she missed about Lucius, it was his money. Just getting by with second-rate rich men was killer on her extravagant lifestyle. She couldn't mooch off of anyone with less than a million in their bank account!

Suddenly she heard a cell phone snap shut. Looking up Jez saw Lucius calmly looking at her.

"Ordering lobster, precious?" She gave him another seductive look. "Did I work you up an appetite?"

"No." Lucius returned. "I was on the line with my security. They'll be here to kick you out of my house."

Jez blinked.

"What?" She gasped, sitting up on the couch, grasping her coat to her body. Lucius gave an easy shrug.

"I have nothing more to gain from you now." He returned. "You are trespassing on my property."

The woman looked genuinely stupefied.

"Wait! I thought we were back together!" Jez pleaded. A cold expression came over Lucius's face.

"You're familiar with this game, Jez. Use and abuse before discarding." He smirked at her. "So don't look so surprised."

Jez's mouth was on the floor. It was at that moment that four very beefy security guards burst into the room and surrounded the couch that Jez was sitting on. Lucius grinned at the horrified look on Jez's face.

"I'd put that coat on before my security drags you out of here naked." With that he turned and walked toward his bedroom to get dressed, leaving the female monster for his security.

Inside his bedroom, Lucius lay back on his bed and stared at the ceiling. He did a swell job of _funking_ up a perfectly good Saturday afternoon! He missed out on prime golf weather and made an idiot out of himself in front of Heloise. And all for instant gratification. In some moments with Jez, he tried to imagine Heloise tangled inside the sheets with him. Maybe that's how he got through it; imagining that Jez was Heloise. That didn't matter now, though. He'd just chased the girl away by being with Jez. Of all the rotten luck that she'd show up on his doorstep!

But that unleashed a volley of new thoughts. Why did Heloise trouble herself to come to his house on a Saturday? He did glance at the thing in her hand before she "accidentally" stepped on it. Heloise always saved her inventions for Misery Inc business hours. Was this invention SO special that she had to bother him… OR… was it just an excuse to see him again? Granted, it was a long shot; to hope that Heloise wanted to be with him. If he wasn't so stupid maybe Heloise COULD have been in the sheets with him instead of Jez. There was no sure-fire way to tell. Blame it on the wandering imagination of a restless, guilty mind of a lonely tyrant.

How could he make it up to her? Heloise did seem pretty upset. Lucius ran through a mental list. Heloise liked destroying stuff and causing misery as much as he did. What if he let her smash up the town a little more? Lucius's face twisted. Somehow, he thought Heloise would only be happy when she could skewer his head on a pole.

Sighing, the short, devil-like monster sat up and glanced out the window. It was late evening; there was not much time before bedtime. Still appreciating the pulsing endorphins, courtesy of Jez, Lucius slipped into his bunny jammies and put in an old movie into his bedroom's TV. He'd try to get rid of his agitated thoughts by watching an old film with Gary Cooper, Bette Davis or James Stewart.

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Review! LONG LIVE ROCK!


	9. All Shook Up

Ohayo Saints and Sinners! Here's another update! In this chapter Lucius comes to grips with what his fascination with Heloise has done to him, while Heloise is as paranoid as ever. In the middle of all this... Lucius confesses. Enjoy!

As I rampage all over this city, alls CJzilla has to roar is this: R&R! Love... Hate... review!

_brendachic12: Updated. Enjoy._

_Phil Rocker: Updated. Enjoy, fool._

**AN: The title is from a bizzare Elvis trip I've been going through... CJzilla owns nothing of Ms. Erica Jong...**

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_"Love is everything it's cracked up to be…It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for."_

**Erica Jong**, _O Magazine, February 2004_

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Chapter 9

_All Shook Up_

Sunday morning; big whoop. It actually felt crummy. Sleep eluded Lucius. He was up all night and even saw the sun come up over the foreboding mountain range surrounding Miseryville. Saturday had such promise and then everything went south. In between a wonderful morning with Heloise at his side and actually feeling like the girl clicked with him, Lucius had to go and screw it up when he buttoned down for Jez. There seemed to be no breathing room between pleasure and pain.

Lucius met a new day with little optimism. Nothing seemed to lift his spirits but he held out some hope for Sunday's paper. The short, devil-like monster opened his front door with coffee cup in hand. There at his feet was the Sunday paper. With little more than a bitter sigh, he snatched his paper off of his front step. He glanced over the headlines and expected to find Beezy's almighty embarrassing photo still buzzing the front page. How he was surprised.

Lucius's jaw steadily dropped to the ground and he didn't even hear his coffee cup shatter at his feet.

""Lucius Heinous VII officially declares time off. First Heinous to ever do so in history of tyrannical rule"….?" He read slowly and just below a whisper. WHEN did he EVER give his employees time off?! ""Signature derails generations of unequaled tightfistedness over employees"…"

SIGNATURE?! He never signed a paper like this!!

"Oh… my… goodness." Lucius peeped. Not only was YEARS of tradition of keeping employees under the Heinous thumb GONE but now HE would be seen as the softie of the family! "Fix it… MUST fix it!"

He ran back into his house, a scream of horror teetering on his lips. Running to his phone, he slammed Samy's phone number into the dial pad. It rang and rang and rang. Nothing. It was at that point that Lucius's rage caught up with him. The furious monster crushed his phone in his hand and swore he'd severely punish the person responsible for this mess.

Lucius burst into his office and zipped to his file cabinet. Opening the drawer used to store recent documents, the CEO of Misery Inc fumbled through the carefully organized papers. When his claws finally hit the proper folder, he tore it out of the drawer and rushed through it. Finally, he found the paper. It was an official request for two weeks off; a mandatory paper that he used to shred while hysterically laughing. Lucius's eyes finally came to the bottom of the form. To his horror, he saw his signature on the dotted line.

"No." He face-palmed, wadding the paper in his hand. "No. No. No!"

Hitting his head with a fist, Lucius realized the depth of his blunder. Yesterday was the day he'd sign papers, authorizing documents ranging from inventory reports to schedule approval. With horrible coincidence, yesterday he was so _distracted_ by Heloise that he signed every little scrap of paper put in front of him. Some wise-guy slipped in that request for time off. And he SIGNED it.

"I am SO _stupid_!" Lucius exclaimed, slumping over the file cabinet.

"_Finally_! You've come to grips with your density." He heard a voice. Jumping ten feet in the air, he whirled around to see Heloise sitting on his desk giving him the evil eye.

"YOU! Were _you_ behind this?!" Lucius fumed, pointing to the wadded document in his hand. Heloise jumped off of his desk and sighed.

"Are you kidding? I'd never ask for a day off." She spitefully responded looking like she'd love to rip off his horns. "If I'd kill anyone, it'd be that assistant of yours."

Samy. Of course. Any paper that went through this office, it went through his grimy little hands first. Lucius gritted his teeth to the point of cracking.

"Looks like someone took advantage of you yesterday, Lucy." The girl commented. He snapped his eyes to Heloise and saw that she was nearing him. "And I'm not just talking about your gold-digger girlfriend, either."

The two glared at each other; Heloise was miffed that she had feelings for her boss and Lucius was angry because he knew she was right.

"You're NOT helping, _Heloise_." Lucius snarled, squeezing that paper in a fist. "Samy may not be here right now, but you are! _Why_?!"

"A little birdie told me that you were in a state." Heloise shrugged. "And when I read the paper this morning, I could only assume you signed something accidentally. Now I'm watching you freak out."

Lucius was huffing and puffing, ready to break down a wall with his bare hands.

"This is unacceptable!" He snarled. "First, I will _squish_ Samy's little head and then get all my employees back! And then they can _forget_ about privileges! No bathroom, no lunch, no five second breaks; _**NO**_ MORE NICE!"

"I say you deserve it." Heloise hissed. That just made Lucius spin around and give her a death glare.

"You care to run that by me again?" He hissed dangerously, zipping up to her. Heloise was unfazed by his threatening body language and rolled her eyes, much like she usually did.

"You deserve this." She glowered at him. "You're the one with your head in the clouds. If you weren't so flighty and focused on your job, this wouldn't have happened."

Realization and déjà vu flashed across Heloise's face. This was the same stuff that he handed her when they had lunch together. He told HER that she was slacking because of her crush on Jimmy Two-Shoes and now Lucius was doing the same thing!

Lucius gritted his teeth to the point of cracking. She was right.

"Do you know how close I am to taking all of this out on you?" He growled, clenching his fists. Heloise just laughed.

"Well, well, Mr. Heinous." She appeared to not have heard him. "You recall having this discussion with me just a few days ago?"

Lucius felt his rage come to a screeching halt and nervousness set in. Giving a frustrated grunt, the small dictator turned his back to the girl and unwrinkled the document he wadded.

"What… W-W-W-What makes you say that?" He said. Then he mentally slapped himself; that was far less commanding than he wanted.

"I see all the symptoms." Heloise was suddenly at his side. "You're flighty, have the random sweats, the erratic behavior, the absentmindedness and the denial. Something must be _really_ twisting your horns."

Lucius turned his back again to the girl. He wasn't in denial and he knew exactly why he was so scatterbrained; he was in love.

"I've just had… an off day." The small devil-like monster reasoned, keeping his eyes on the fine print of the paper. "No need to jump to wild conclusions, Heloise."

Suddenly Heloise slapped the document out of his hands.

"What are you-?" Lucius growled. And then Heloise seized the front of his suit and jerked him to her face.

"If there's one thing that annoys me most about you, it's your hypocrisy." She hissed dangerously. "Like how you told me that I forget about Jimmy and focus on my work? You're doing the _exact_ same thing! You're a hypocrite and a LIAR!"

Lucius's anger flew back with a vengeance. WHO did Heloise think she is?! He was Lucius Heinous VII! ANYONE who sasses him gets a one-way ticket to an early grave! Heloise was ready to tear Lucius down, both with her words and her bare hands! He'd worn on her last nerve; making her FALL for him! He'd regret ever giving her heartache!

For some reason, both just froze. It was like a snapshot from a camera; Heloise and Lucius were still and seemingly motionless. Finally, Lucius scowled and grasped her hand that was clutching the front of his suit.

"Don't do that again!" He fumed, pulling her hand from his clothes. Heloise just glared but let her hand remain in his for a long second.

Releasing the girl's hand was difficult. Again, it was like separating his fingers that had suddenly become rusted metal. Lucius did drop her hand but not his glare. Huffing, he rubbed his hands on his suit coat and straightening his tie. The small devil-like monster picked up the paper Heloise had swatted out of his hands from around her feet.

Heloise just watched him, still glaring daggers. There was a question burning on her lips and she couldn't help herself from blurting it out.

"I thought you dumped Jez." Those words left her mouth like acid. "Is she why you're so flighty? Does she have you aching?"

Lucius face-palmed. Heloise hit his problem head on; again, but it wasn't Jez making him crazy. It was Heloise herself. Strangely, he was so furious at the headlines, trashing his family's bad name AND Samy for sneaking in that little document, that he really didn't care about the precarious situation he was in now.

"That's _none_ of your business!" He snapped, pointing a finger in her face. "And I'm not aching!"

"Uh-huh." Heloise gave him an unconvinced, lazy look. "Says the Heinous that gave everyone time off."

The small devil-like monster gave a loud snarl.

"I don't have to defend myself in front of YOU!" Lucius fumed. "YOU are just an overpaid, over-inflated BRAT of an inventor who is rapidly digging her own grave!"

That made a little hurt surface on the girl's face before irritation set in.

"_Brat_? I'm the most mature person in your whole misery-forsaken business!" Heloise fired back. Lucius's face was getting red with anger. "Not to mention THE most important employee you have!"

"_Employee_ being the key word, Heloise." Lucius growled dangerously. "You're not my personal shrink, my friend OR someone I'd talk to about my love life!"

He gave her a firm glare, which she readily returned.

"You have time off, now _USE IT_!" Lucius added. "GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!"

He pointed squarely at the door, face even redder with anger. Heloise glared daggers at him before she clenched her fists.

"You know what? It was a mistake for me to even CARE!" She spat. "I hope you _burn_ this business into the ground!"

With that the girl turned on her heel and marched to the door. Lucius felt himself flinch when Heloise slammed it. He watched the door for a long second before he looked at the paper in his hand.

"Yeah…" He mumbled, face falling. "It was a mistake to care..."

Lucius found himself back at his home, trying to think through this mess. He was the first of a tyrannical monarchy to give time off. If his father, grandfather or even Lucius Heinous I found out what he'd done, they'd blow a gasket. Now he was merely waiting for the paparazzi to swarm him, asking why the change. How would he explain it? He'd gone loopy because of his young, evil head inventor. Head-over-heels for the teen, he was so blinded by a love-struck haze that he accidentally signed that paper. He wouldn't care so much about what the citizens of Miseryville thought… just what Heloise might think. Lucius had yelled at her, lied to her and made her think that she was crazy. That was probably enough to make her hate his guts; even more than right now.

Lucius found himself deadpanned and just sitting on his couch, nibbling on his fingernails. The "what ifs" were killing him. But he could agree with something inside of him: he still had feelings for Heloise and he cursed himself for kicking her out of his office. He made a pact; the next time he saw her, he'd tell her the truth.

And as the universe had it, the doorbell rang. Swallowing, Lucius debated whether he should answer. What if it was the paparazzi? Jez's lawyer? Still, he got up and walked to the door. As he reached for the doorknob, he felt an icy air around his body. But before he could think, he'd opened the door. Imagine his surprise when he saw who he was thinking about in front of him.

"Yes-? Heloise?" Lucius was thunderstruck to see his top inventor on the other side of his door. "What are-?"

There was a malicious look on her pretty face as the teen girl pulled an enormous weapon from behind her back. Without a word Heloise took aim at him. Lucius jumped back and slammed shut the door. He barely had time to dive to the floor when Heloise blew down his entryway. Slivers of masticated wood fell over him. Then he felt the barrel of the gun rest on the back of his head. Lucius froze.

"I want answers, Lucy!" He heard Heloise hiss at him. "You're hiding something and if you don't tell me what it is, I'm going to let you have it."

Even with a gun put to his head, Lucius wasn't going to spill that easy. Then he got mad.

"Is this any way to treat _YOUR BOSS_?!" Lucius fumed, trying to get off of the ground.

In reply, Heloise pressed on her gun, slamming his face into the floor.

"Don't try to weasel your way outta this!" She snapped. "You've got a plan that I'm somehow involved in! I wanna know _why_ and _what_ you're playing at!"

Lucius cursed, feeling his nose sting with pain. He had enough of this. Twisting, he grabbed the neck of the gun and yanked it out of Heloise's hands. Jumping off of the floor, he aimed it at her.

"You're INSANE, Heloise!" Lucius growled. "I want you OUT of my-!"

And then he felt something trickle down his face. Wiping his nose, he found himself to be bleeding. Lucius fumed.

"GREAT!" He grunted. He glared at the girl. "Look at what you did! I have a _bloody_ nose!"

Tossing the weapon back over to Heloise, Lucius stalked to his bathroom. Heloise, kinda shocked at what she did, left her weapon at the door and followed him.

Lucius ran a cloth under some cold water and slapped it on his nose. The pain never registered; he was just too angry. Looking down at his clothes, he growled. His expensive jacket had blood on its sleeves and front. It was going to cost a fortune to dry clean! And _what the heck_ was in Heloise's mind?! Opening fire on him! He was her BOSS! She was SO fired. Then Lucius heard someone clear their throat from the doorway to the bathroom. His eye twitched.

"You better have a good aim because if you miss, I'm going to-!" He was about to start yelling when Heloise stood at his side.

"Turn to me, Lucy." She instructed. Lucius turned to her, a cloth over his nose and glaring poison.

To his utter surprise, Heloise began undoing the buttons to his suit jacket.

"WHAT are you doing?!" He jumped back, mortified. Heloise rolled her eyes.

"You're a mess. Let me help." She returned. Lucius just glared.

"You've helped ENOUGH, thank _you_!" He bit. "I'm _really_ considering throwing you into an insane asylum! _What_ were you thinking?!"

Lucius turned back to the mirror and glowered at his reflection. Heloise fell silent, walked to the bathtub and sat on its rim. He was _mad_; better let him calm down a little before talking to him.

Once Lucius was sure that he wasn't bleeding anymore, he took the cloth from his nose and undid his suit jacket. Dropping that to the bathroom floor, the short, red, devil-like monster turned to Heloise. An unnatural rile burned in his eyes as he stomped over to her.

"Look, Lucy- HEY!" Heloise started before Lucius grabbed her by the arm and started hauling her to the door. "I'm sorry! Can't we talk about this?"

Lucius felt a scowl ripple onto his face as he pulled the girl to his front door.

"I didn't mean to hurt you! Just scare you." Heloise explained. Lucius shot a glare back at her. "You've been really weird with me the last couple of days. I just wanted some answers."

By that time, they were at the door… or what was left of it. Pushing her out of his house, Lucius stood there, livid.

"OUT! You ARE FIRED!" He blasted at her, shaking his fist. Heloise's jaw fell to the ground as she watched her boss stalk back into his house.

Lucius walked off to his room to change. Slipping out of his dotted shirt, he threw on another. Still angry enough to chew through a wall, Lucius stomped out to his living room. Pouring himself an alcoholic beverage, he flopped back down into his recliner. Staring at the television but not really watching his movie, Lucius growled out loud. Well, that was _another_ bazillion dollars that Heloise cost him! That was an imported Italian suit jacket and an expensive shirt! Not to mention the door that she just totaled. Just on the custom carvings, Lucius dropped a six digit payment. Now he had to contend with a draft until morning.

He held his throbbing nose.

"Ow." It was going to swell and turn colors. He was going to go to work tomorrow looking like he was in a fight.

Then it hit him. He just fired Heloise. Lucius groaned, head in his hands. That was SO STUPID! He just toasted his money maker! Then he suddenly heard someone beside him. Giving a big sigh, Lucius pulled his face out of his hands and glared at her; yes, he knew it was Heloise. He saw something rare in Heloise's eyes: fear.

"Take it easy." Heloise gestured. "You start yelling and your nose will pick up where it left off."

The red, devil-like monster face-palmed and glared off, ignoring her. Heloise swallowed. Lucius was so angry, he couldn't yell. Better late than never. Clearing her throat she sat in the chair beside his.

"Sorry about your nose." She said. Lucius huffed and turned in his seat.

Heloise swallowed again.

"And about your door." Lucius just huffed. "Okay, okay… And your suit jacket. You look good without it."

Lucius felt his eyebrows raise and his scowl lighten. He looked… good without it? In Heloise's opinion? Then he huffed, his scowl returning. Still, he gave her the cold shoulder.

"I guess I could have done something better than blowing down your door…" The girl voiced. Lucius turned his head and glared.

"Ya think?!" He growled. "Do you realize what you _cost_ me on a _weekly_ basis?! I could make a _hundred_ golden statues of myself with what I spend on _you_ in a week! I'm just _AMAZED_ that I haven't _peeled_ you like a grape yet!"

Heloise looked off and nodded, agreeing with him.

"And now you come right out and assault me with a deadly weapon!" Lucius frowned, gesturing for the door. "Are you ASKING to be fired? If that's the case, then quit and _spare_ me the misery!"

The girl looked at him with a slightly hurt expression on her face. She hopped to the ground. It was at that time that Lucius realized that he was out of his chair and standing on the floor.

"I came here to _talk_ to you!" Heloise gestured. "Back at the office, I figured that if I couldn't persuade you to talk then I'd _make_ you talk. Thus the big gun."

Lucius gritted his teeth.

"Talk to me! What's wrong with you and why am _I_ involved?" The girl looked irritated. Lucius put on a poker face and a façade of sarcasm.

"What makes you think _you're_ involved?" He questioned coldly. Heloise looked at him with her big, dark, blue-grey eyes.

"Because of how you look at me." She answered. "And how you talk to me and, more recently, how you hold me."

Lucius's poker face dropped and his eyes fell to the floor.

"I know something's wrong, Lucius. And I know that I have something to do with it." Heloise started to frown. "Whatever plot you have, I don't want any part-"

"I'm not plotting… Heloise." He cut her off. But then he realized that wasn't true. "Well, I suppose that's not-... But you-…"

Lucius stopped himself, looking to the floor and holding his hand to his mouth thoughtfully. Should he lie? This was the best occasion of any to tell her what's been on his mind. Besides, he all ready fired her. What's the worst she could do? He looked up at her.

"I'm in love with you, Heloise." Lucius heard himself say. The girl's eyes widened. "_That's_ how you're involved."

He closed his eyes and gave a quiet sigh.

"And there you have it; my dirty little secret." Lucius added. He opened his eyes again and locked eyes with the girl. "And here I am now; miserable, confused and wide open for you to see."

Lucius gestured to himself. Without his suit coat and without his poker face he was just Lucy; the insecure and vulnerable person he banished to the back of his mind. Now that he got that off of his chest, the red, devil-like monster soaked in the girl's expression. She looked shocked and almost in disbelief, like she expected him to yell at her like he wasn't serious. But if you think about it, everything that happened within the last two days was telltale signs that Lucius was in love. If it wasn't for his poker face and his sarcasm, maybe she would have seen it sooner.

"Lucy…" Heloise peeped. "I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything." Lucius answered. "Just be sure to hand in your resignation first thing in the morning."

The girl blinked.

"Am I still fired?" She questioned. Lucius gave her a neutral look.

"No, but after what I just admitted, I'm not expecting you to stay with Misery Inc." The small, red, devil-like monster returned. Then a frown came to his face. "You can leave now."

Heloise stood there speechless and shocked. Lucius turned from her and walked to the phone. He looked up door repair as Heloise left his house in a stunned stupor.

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Review! LONG LIVE ROCK!


	10. Sweet Misery

Hey all you Saints and Sinners! CJzilla here with the last chapter of C'est la Vie but I plan on doing an epiloge. So... in this next to last update, Lucius is not feeling well about losing Heloise. But you'll see everything unfold. Enjoy.

As I rampage all over this city, alls CJzilla has to roar is this: R&R! Love... Hate... review.

**AN: If you wanna see some of my Jimmy Two-Shoes art, head on over to my DeviantArt profile. www dot cjzilla dot deviantart dot com.**

_Gepetto: F awesome! Glad you liked it!_

_AEDReaper: Thank you AED. Tremendous compliment there. Here's another update._

_Rock California: All-... no, MOST will be answered int his chapter! Enjoy!_

_Phil rocker: Here's an update... FOOL!_

_Berry's Ambitions: Here's another update. Hope you enjoy, Crazy._

_brendachic12: UPDATED!_

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_"There is no remedy for love but to love more."_

_**Henry David Thoreau**, Journal, July 25, 1839  
US Transcendentalist author (1817 - 1862)_

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Chapter 10

_Sweet Misery_

Monday began sour. Lucius was still in a foul mood since yesterday. He summoned all employees to report to Misery Inc. When his workers arrived and assembled, he gave a speech; if you consider flying off the handle at a crowd of over a thousand employees held at gun-point a speech... Demonstrating what would happen to anyone who spoke against him, Lucius ordered a bound and gagged Samy hung piñata-style. After beating his sneaky assistant with a wooden board, the tiny tyrant commissioned Molotov and his army to take turns piñata-style flogging the small, green monster. And then Lucius retreated to his office. Even seeing Samy mercilessly pummeled wasn't pleasing to him. Even though he'd officially announced that his signature on the request for time off was a forgery, Lucius was still livid and unhappy. The feeling of getting kicked in the chest by a mule lingered, and he knew precisely why. He'd lost Heloise _and_ his top inventor.

As Lucius sat in his office, he prepared himself to release the news that Misery Inc needed a new inventor. Now he must start the arduous process of finding someone to fill in Heloise's spot. The last time he did this, all the so called "inventors" turned out to be major flops. From a business standpoint, Lucius recognized that there would be NO one like Heloise. Her evil genius was unmatched as were her skills as an inventor and builder. Even if he did find some other genius to fill her spot, the measure of evil and misery would drop dramatically. And there would go everything he worked for.

On a personal, non-business note, he knew too that no one could even come close to Heloise. Barely twelve hours after firing her and he was missing her sadistic wit, her insults and her presence. Misery Inc all ready felt out of place, not to mention how miserable he felt right now. This was not going to be pleasant.

Suddenly the door opened.

"Just because you have massive bodily trauma, _doesn't_ mean that you can slack, _Samy_!" Lucius growled, not looking up from the window. "I needed my coffee _ten_ minuets ago!"

"Your horns are still in a bunch, aren't they?" It was Heloise. Lucius felt his eyes go wide as he swiveled around in his chair.

He saw the girl walk toward him with a smile and a cup of coffee in her hand. Reading the happy, chipper look on the evil girl's face, Lucius felt his curl downwards.

"What are you doing here?" Lucius growled lowly, glaring poison. Heloise just grinned.

"You make it sound like a bad thing, Lucy." The girl smirked. "Would you rather look for another super-genius or stick with your old one?"

Lucius got out of his chair and met her halfway.

"In light of what has happened the past few days, I suspect the only reason that you are here is to make me suffer." He muttered, looking distrustful and frustrated.

"Then it's business as usual, Lucy." Heloise gave a dry smile that was obviously a mask. Lucius's frown deepened; he was just SICK of this game.

"You know exactly what I mean, Heloise." He gnarled. Heloise's face straightened.

"Because of your feelings for me? Lucius, it's not going to matter. Things will no longer be the same." She replied. Lucius relaxed his tense body, but his frown remained.

"I can handle the little pranks and humiliation you inflict on me daily." He told her. Then his eyes narrowed with hurt. "But right now, you're being unusually cruel."

A frown came to her face.

"You know what your problem is?" She growled. Lucius's grimace tightened. "You give me too much credit."

With that she dropped his coffee to the floor. The short, devil-like monster watched the cup fall for a long moment and spill without a sound. In a movement he never expected, Heloise jumped forward and hugged him. Lucius felt his anger and frustration instantly evaporate as if doused suddenly by a heavy wave. Wrapping his arms around the girl, Lucius pulled her close and let himself give into the embrace. A haze washed over him; the world around them was a blur, fuzzy and suddenly gone. Her hair licked his face and her skin was cool against his. Exhaling, Lucius closed his eyes and felt a grin spread over his mouth.

Heloise was awed at how fast Lucius surrendered to her awkward and stiff hug. His arms wrapping around her was a surprise. Part of her squirmed but the majority of her was curious. So… _this_ is what it was like with Miseryville's all-powerful tyrant… She expected a lot more yelling. Lucius was stunningly tender and docile. He pressed his head to the side of hers, breathing softly into her hair. She felt herself relax and rest her head on the nape of his neck.

The two strong personalities shared a moment together; bleeding off their attraction and testing whether this was true or not. Lucius kissed her hair. Heloise stiffened but didn't move. He kissed her hair again before kissing her cheek. He pulled away just far enough so that they could look each other in the eye. He grinned and then leaned in. Heloise felt frozen but drawn forward. Lucius met her halfway and took her lips in a kiss. He pulled her to him, wrapping her mouth with his. Heloise saw his eyes close as her heart knocked against her chest. His arms, his body pressure, his kiss; Heloise knew her mind was fogging over with pleasure. Finally her resistance fell and she relaxed, leaning into him and kissing him back.

The kiss was a blur; a rosy colored blur of pleasure. For being initially angry and violent, Lucius was now mellow and happy. He sat in his chair, face propped up on a fist as he listened to Heloise talk about ideas for new inventions. He watched her lay on his desk, occasionally rolling onto her back as she traced out her new weapon and/or device's outline with her fingers. It was wonderful, this was wonderful, and SHE was wonderful. Lucius couldn't have asked for anything better. After all the misery he put himself though, he never would have guessed that Heloise was returning his feelings.

"-self generating device that enables all snow monsters to move independently while still taking orders from their master!" The girl rattled off, gesturing wildly and smiling wickedly. Then she turned her head to him while still lying on her back on his desk. "What do you think?"

Lucius blinked, brought down from Cloud 9.

"Uh… Something about snow monsters…" He gave a goofy smile. Heloise sighed, rolled to her stomach and propped herself up on her elbows.

"You weren't even listening." She gave a tiny, irritated grin. Nope; Lucius was too busy watching her.

"Uh-huh." He nodded, that loopy look still on his face. The girl tutted and rolled her eyes.

Then Heloise leaned forward, bracing his wrists to the armrests of his chair and pressing herself dangerously on him. Lucius felt her hair on his face and her breath on his neck. He couldn't fight it; the fuzzy electricity numbing his mind and shoving him back into his dream. He didn't heard Heloise chuckle, but he did feel her move out of the embrace.

"Aw. Mr. Lonely Lovesick." The girl mocked. Lucius then found that his head was tilted slightly as he made an effort to smell her hair. "I should have known you were in love."

The red, devil-like monster gave her a slightly annoyed look.

"Why else would I act so strange?" Lucius asked before a dirty smile surfaced on his face. Heloise gave a wary chuckle as she blushed and took her hands off of his wrists.

"All this time I thought you were planning to-… to fire me." The girl coughed. Lucius looked surprised before he started laughing.

Heloise sat up on his desk and glared at him.

"You still fired me! Don't laugh like I'm paranoid." She grunted. Lucius wiped his eyes.

"And is that why you threatened me and gave me the random visits? Not to mention having Two-Shoes and Beezy spy on me." He rapped his claws on his desk with a slick smile on his face. Heloise gave a nod and chuckled warily.

"Pretty much." She responded. Then she looked him in the eye. "But yesterday was different. I couldn't get you out of my head."

Lucius's lips fell into a surprised frown before a lump hitched in this throat. She couldn't get him out of her head? His expression made Heloise blush, retreat backwards and sit in front of him. She gave a nervous snicker and fiddled with her nails.

"Gee… when you look at me like that-…" She trailed off as her mouth suddenly pinched shut. This wasn't easy for Heloise and Lucius's dumbfounded expression made her want to smack it off of his face.

But then the girl heard Lucius's chair creek. Looking up, she saw the devil-like monster nearly spilled on his desk, a flirty, love-struck look on his face.

"Well, my dear, now that we have THAT out of the way-…" He locked eyes with her and Heloise saw his signature, wicked smirk. Then she felt his hand on hers. "Why don't we-?"

Then the door flung open and instantly killed the mood. Heloise and Lucius jumped as Jimmy Two-Shoes and Beezy came running in.

"WHAT ARE YOU-?!" Lucius REALLY didn't like being interrupted, especially when he was just about to ask Heloise on an official date. But Jimmy and Beezy were very excited.

"Lookitlookitlookit_lookit_!" The tall blond squealed and shoved something into Lucius's mouth before he could yell more. The devil-like monster immediately gagged, spitting out whatever Jimmy pushed into his open mouth.

He saw what it was. A cookie. Lucius snapped the pastry in half with his claws as he glared absolute poison at his most hated annoyance. Before he could rip Jimmy and Beezy a new one, he heard Heloise hum.

"Ooo! These are good!" The girl beamed. Lucius looked over at the girl and saw her snatch another cookie from the tray held by Beezy.

Jimmy cheered.

"Thanks Heloise! This is me an' Beezy's latest cookie creation!" The boy looked at Lucius like he was his best friend. The short, devil-like monster just glared and thought of the ways he could dispose of the boy without Heloise knowing. "You ate that cookie that fast?! Gee, Lucy! Here's another one!"

And Jimmy slammed another cookie into Lucius's mouth. The CEO glared and growled through a mouthful of cookie but when he saw Heloise looking at him with an amused expression, he rolled his eyes. He chewed the cookie. It wasn't half bad. Lucius looked at Jimmy.

"What kind is this?" He squeezed out, pointing to his chewing mouth. Two-Shoes beamed.

"It's banana fudge walnut clam and onion!" He chirped, throwing his hands in the air and high-fiving Beezy. Lucius's face puckered as he thickly swallowed his mouthful of heinous cookie.

"I came up with the clam and fudge!" Beezy reached for another cookie but Jimmy swatted his claws away.

"Hang _on_! You have over a dozen of these all ready!" The boy complained then he looked at Lucius and Heloise. "So whaddya think?! Is it good enough to open a cookie business?"

Heloise nodded, crumbs all over her face. Lucius, on the other hand, picked up another cookie and turned it in his claws. Humming thoughtfully, he wondered how he could twist the situation in his favor. Then he came up with a nasty, misery-inducing plan. A wicked smile curled onto his face as his eyes sharpened.

"Of course it's good enough to sell." Lucius grinned like the Cheshire cat. "In fact, it's SO good Misery Inc will fully fund your budding business. Starting with _this_ cookie's recipe."

Leaning back in his chair, he saw Jimmy and Beezy's smiles explode while Heloise studied him with a skeptical look. He returned the girl's distrustful expression with a sly wink. Heloise's face spread into a smile, suddenly sharing his evil thoughts.

"Really?!" Beezy and Jimmy peeped, so excited. Lucius nodded.

"We'll start production… as _soon_ as you **leave**." The devil-like monster forced a smile and pointed a firm finger to the door. Squealing, Jimmy grabbed Beezy and left a tray of cookies on Lucius's desk.

As soon as the door closed, the devil-like monster rolled his dark eyes. _That…_ nearly pushed him to the brink on insanity. He heard Heloise giggle.

"Cookies? THAT'S the next big Misery Inc product?" She quipped. Lucius looked up at her.

"Two-Shoes just gave us an untapped source of misery. We just need to tweak the recipe a bit." He gave her an evil look. The girl looked to the ceiling.

"I bet I could whip up some essence of chili peppers. That would put the misery in Jimmy's little cookie." She smiled at Lucius to which he readily returned. Then the devil-like monster leaned forward and his dirty smile resurfaced.

"Now… where were we?" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively. Heloise just smirked and rolled her eyes; a short second later she hopped off of his desk. "What? Where are you going?"

Heloise spun to him.

"To get cracking on that cookie recipe." Snatching a cookie from the tray she held it in her fingers. By then Lucius jumped out of his chair and was nearly on his knees in front of her.

"Wait! Wait. You're just going to leave? Just like that?" He gave her a desperate look. Heloise tried to keep her best straight face.

"Yep. It's not like you had something to say, anyway." Lucius's expression turned annoyed. Heloise almost laughed.

"But I did have something to tell you." He grunted. The girl looked back at him.

"And what is that?" She asked. Lucius suddenly felt nervous again and inadvertently bit his bottom lip.

"Well, since I confessed to you that I'm in lo-…" He trailed off. Swallowing, Lucius rubbed the back of his neck. "Would you-… Would you like to-… have dinner with me?"

He shut his eyes and waited for the girl's response. Oh! Heloise was having fun! Lucius was really nervous and hinged on her every word. A wicked smile curled onto her face.

"Sure, Lucy." She spoke. Lucius opened his eyes and gave her a genuinely stunned look. "But we go where I want to."

Lucius looked off and shrugged.

"Uh… all right. That's fine." He peeped, face flushing. Heloise smiled evilly again.

"Pick me up at seven sharp." She moved past him and slowly walked to the door. As if on cue, she heard Lucius pout.

"And you're still leaving?" Turning Heloise saw the irritated look on her boss's face as he folded his arms and tapped his foot. "You've lit my fuse and you're just going to leave?"

Heloise rolled her dark blue-grey eyes.

"Duh. Would you expect anything less from me?" She gave him a fiendish smirk as she tapped her forehead. Lucius was practically begging her to stay with him.

He bit his tongue to alleviate the wave of pressure he was feeling. Lucius wanted Heloise to stay in his office; the last thing he wanted was for her to go.

"And I thought I was evil." A dark shadow crossed over his face as he glowered at the girl. Heloise just pulled one of the most frustrating moves in a relationship: leaving when she had him wanting more.

Finally he relented.

"Fine! I get to see the look of horror on-_mff_!" And Heloise grabbed him by the front of his suit and jerked him into a kiss. Lucius melted and wrapped his arms around her tiny frame.

Oh… and another kiss from a girl who could easily steal his soul.

But all too soon, Heloise parted from him. Lucius gave her a grin.

"I suppose I have to get used to the come and go with you, huh?" He commented, an annoyed yet entertained look on his face. Heloise returned his grin.

"I like to see you suffer, Lucy." She returned. "And I know exactly how to torment you."

She traced the outline of his ear with her finger. Shivers ran down Lucius's back.

"Sweet misery, my dear." He responded and finally released her. Heloise easily moved away from him.

Folding his arms, he watched the girl walk to the door with a smirk. As she opened it, Heloise suddenly paused and looked over her shoulder.

"Pick me up in your car tonight. I want to chase some Weavils." She said. Lucius smiled.

"It's a date." He gave an agreeable nod. Heloise blushed at him as she walked through the door.

With a click of the door's shutting mechanism, Lucius knew she'd let go of the doorknob and was probably walking down the hallway. He closed his eyes and let a small laugh out. This was perfection. Banking back toward his big window, the small devil-like monster looked out over Miseryville. For once he could visualize red skies and doomsday weapons consuming the city. Soon enough, when he'd find the perfect mixture of misery, the town would be engulfed in it. And he could see Heloise standing at his side; not as an inventor but as his partner in crime and lover. Together, Miseryville would never be the same.

And so, there you have it. A love shaped between the most ridiculous and cliché of circumstances; but really what love isn't? You may not see too many fireworks in life, so the ones that do blaze and dazzle, hold onto as long as you can before they blow in your hand.

_**Fin**_

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REVIEW! LONG LIVE ROCK!


	11. Epilogue

Hey boys and girls! CJzilla here with her last update for C'est la Vie. Sad? Don't be. You'll see more of my work floating around FanFictionLand! Now, in this last chapter, it's been one month since Lucius and Heloise started things. You will see the point they are at... Enjoy.

As I rampage all over this city, alls CJzilla has to roar is this: R&R! Love... Hate... Review.

**_AN: OK... I am taking FULL advantage of the "T" rating; there is sexual content in this. So kiddies... ye been warned. Normally I don't have the guts to do this... CJzilla owns nothing of Mr. Matt Groeing._**

_brendachic12: T'ain't over yet! Enjoy this last enstallment. Thank you for all of your awesome reviews!_

_Gepetto: Well, dude... I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy writing this. I'm glad I held your seasoned attention. Your reviews were always Enjoy the epilogue. Peace._

_Rock California: Thank you. Yes! I wish it wasn't ending either. *wipes tear* But... I worked pretty hard on the epilogue to give the feeling of completeness with a hint to the furture. Thank you for the reviews and reading my humble little story._

_K T: Thanks for the review and I'm pleased that you enjoyed my fic. Here's the epilogue!_

_And to all who reivewed... thanks! On with the show!_

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**_"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." _**

**_Matt Groening_****_, "Life in Hell"  
US cartoonist & satirist (1954 - )_**

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Epilogue

Lucius Heinous II stood on the porch of his mountain lodge, smiling into the untainted breeze that blew into his face. He'd forgotten what a great view this villa had. From a distance, he could see Miseryville and Misery Inc booming inside a blanket of smog some fifty miles away. But up in the jagged mountains surrounding his town, not a sound from the factory was heard. The silence added to this weekend's perfection.

How did a tyrant get away from his kingdom? Secretly, of course. Well, three people knew of his excursion, since he had to leave Misery Inc in someone's hands until he returned. One being his son Beezy, his assistant Samy and Jimmy Two-Shoes. Normally he wouldn't have told a soul but the trio of misfits had the capacity to watch the silent business; it was the weekend and no one would be working anyway. Samy knew better than to let something go awry; he'd answer to his boss and the business end of a whipping post.

The short, devil-like monster swallowed the last of his coffee and spun the empty mug in his claws. Yup; this was one fantastic weekend. And what made everything just flawless was Heloise's company.

With one last look over Miseryville, Lucius turned on his heel and headed back through a sliding-glass door. Entering the quiet lodge, the smell of fresh coffee tantalized his nose. Walking over to the coffee pot, he poured himself another mug of some expensive and exotic coffee blend. He scarcely placed the coffee pot back onto the burner when he heard a loud yawn. Looking up he saw Heloise shuffle down the hallway. A big grin spread over his face as he saw that she was still asleep.

"Good morning, my dear." He greeted. The teen didn't seem to hear him.

She quietly made her way over to the table and sat. Heloise stared blankly at the expensive table in front of her, her brain still in bed. She heard Lucius fiddling around in the kitchen and porch, stirring her from sleep. When she finally pulled herself out of the blankets, she realized just how massive Lucius's mountain villa was. He never did anything small and Heloise wondered just how many villas he had stashed around Miseryville.

Just then a cup of coffee was placed in front of her. Panning her eyes upwards, she met Lucius's and his smile.

"My, my; someone's still asleep." He commented, flashing her a wily smile. He moved to the opposite side of the table and sat.

The devil-like monster read Heloise's expression and it entertained him. The girl scrunched her nose in disgust at the coffee.

"Why do you drink this dirt juice?" Heloise grunted, pushing the mug of coffee away from her. "It's not even good for you."

Lucius merely smirked.

"It's an acquired taste. Besides, it'll wake you up." He returned. Heloise, being ever the scientist, just frowned.

"The caffeine in the coffee does little more than give you the jitters. The last thing I need right now is the jitters." She folded her arms defiantly. But even her sour mood couldn't wipe that smile off of Lucius's face.

"You grow to love it in the morning." He shrugged. "Just trying to help you wake up from such a busy night."

And a wickedly dirty leer came over Lucius's face. Heloise choked and coughed. On the inside Lucius was erupting with evil laughter and doing a sort of victory dance. As the phrase goes, it was the "morning after" and Lucius couldn't be more satisfied with it being so. Finally Heloise stopped coughing and glared. Without a word, she snatched her coffee off of the table and stomped out onto the porch. He matched her anger with a smile. Lucius followed her.

Heloise rested arms on the hand railing and her head on her arms. She stared off. Her face felt like it was on fire. Well, at least she was fully awake now.

"Beautiful, huh?" Heloise heard her annoying boyfriend behind her. Doing more than narrowing her eyes, she turned to him.

Lucius was leaning on the doorframe, hands in the pockets of his neatly pressed casual pants. She had to admit, with the way he was smirking at her, she felt a little of her anger evaporate.

"What is?" Heloise mumbled. The red, devil-like monster stood and looked at her.

"You." He remarked. Heloise gave a dry scoff and turned back around; in that second, Lucius was beside her.

"You are so smug, you know that?" She growled dangerously. He merely grinned.

"And you are so good." He told her. All blood vessels in Heloise's face trembled and lit cherry red.

Heloise slumped forward, trying to hide her coyness. Lucius just leaned on the hand-railing, smirking as he watched her get flustered.

"Oh, shut up." She stammered. "Mindless and shallow flattery does not work on me."

Lucius laughed.

"Who's flattering? I mean it." He reached out and walked his fingers up her arm. "You were wonderful-"

Heloise resisted and instead, grabbed the front of his sweater. Slamming him onto the hand-rail with one hand, she broke the coffee mug with her other; coffee spilling like rain. Holding the busted glass handle threateningly, Heloise glared daggers at Lucius.

"Knock it off." Her words were dripping with venom. Her body language was tense and volatile. "Don't talk to me like that!"

To Lucius, being with Heloise was much like charming a coiled, miffed cobra. One wrong move and she's sink her fangs into you and deliver a toxic poison. On the other hand, when enchanting such a dangerous animal, you had to be fast and assertive. Like dancing with a cobra, it was dangerous but oh so thrilling. A sick smile spread over the short devil-like monster's face.

Faster that Heloise thought possible, Lucius dipped her and kissed her. Stupid for a few seconds, she finally got her senses back. And the next thing he knew, Lucius was running through his villa, Heloise hot on his heels with a busted coffee mug. Though just one misstep from death, he found himself laughing heartily.

"Oh, c'mon, Heloise!" He laughed. "You like it when I talk dirty to you!"

His words were met with a snarl from the girl. Lucius could feel Heloise's breath on his neck as he ran for his life. Finally, after ducking down a hallway, he zipped into the bedroom and pitched shut the door. He scarcely took his claws off of the doorknob when Heloise attacked the door. Still giggling, Lucius backed up and watched the wooden barrier buck under the girl's impressive strength. Suddenly, his back hit the side of the bed; he had no where to go now. The solid door began to whine with the pressure and finally the hinges separated from the frame. The door fell to the floor with a loud boom.

Heloise stood in the doorway, her grey-blue eyes sharpened. For a second, Lucius could see the girl's evil side materialize as she panting angrily. Suddenly, she dove at him but Lucius never moved. Tackled, the devil-like monster and girl bounced onto the bed. They tumbled around, getting tangled in the sheets.

Somewhere along the line, Heloise dropped the busted coffee cup and Lucius lost his shirt. In the confusion, they found each other's lips and kissed heavily. In a blaze of heat, hands and passion the two seduced themselves with one of the most primal aspects of being in love.

Thirty minuets later and Heloise and Lucius lie side by side. Their faces were stretched in contented smiles as they stared at the ceiling together. Hand behind his head, Lucius enjoyed the sensation of being shirtless yet warm next to his girlfriend. The term "love drunk" came to his hazy mind. He certainly was. Endorphins were hitting his body causing a sensation like a baseball bat made out of pleasure had just cracked across your head. Oddly enough, that's how he felt.

Moving his claws, he found that one of his hands was still wrapped around the small of Heloise's back. Pulling her closer, he felt the girl exhale and grab a handful of sheets. Lucius let out a chuckle and kissed her hair.

"Heloise." He sighed, her name sliding off of his tongue like a good scotch. "Why didn't we get together sooner?"

The girl fell still for a second.

"Like this?" He could hear a low snarl after her question. There was no sense in letting a small misunderstanding ruin this moment.

"No." Lucius immediately corrected, his brow furrowed. "I meant why didn't we realize we were meant for each other sooner?"

Heloise turned to her stomach and looked at him.

"I guess it was the whole "boss-employee" thing." She answered. "Then there's the species contrast and HUGE age difference-"

A smile spread over her face as Lucius glanced at her.

"It's only twenty years." He returned, quirking an annoyed brow. Heloise just grinned.

"I'm just yanking your chain, Lucy." She said as she rested her head on her arms and closed her eyes. "I agree… This should have happened sooner."

Lucius felt his face heat. Heloise, as was known about her, she couldn't express herself very well. So what little "sweet nothings" she uttered were rare but genuine. Then the girl killed the mood.

"What do you think will happen once they find out about us?" Heloise asked. Lucius felt his eye twitch.

""They"?" He grunted, slipping his arm out from under her. "You of course mean Two-Shoes, right?"

Heloise looked disappointed when Lucius swung his legs over the bed, his back to her.

"Well, yeah." She answered, sitting up and clutching the blanket to her body. "Jimmy, Beezy and Miseryville."

Lucius rolled his dark eyes as a frown formed on his lips.

"Who says they find out?" He huffed, folding his arms, his ears laid flat on his head. He heard Heloise laugh a little.

"Well, I think they could figure it out." She answered. "I mean, the fact that I'm supposedly at a science convention while you decide to take an unusual trip to the mountains at the same time is a little suspicious. That's not saying anything about the other stuff we've been trying to hide."

Lucius subconsciously ran his hand over the back of his head. His claws hit the week-old stitches in his scalp. The injury was caused because of Heloise's rough ways of affection; when she ambushed him at his office, intent on surprising him with a quick make-out session. As they tumbled, Lucius's head met the desk and caused a deep gash in his skin. And how did he explain it when Samy asked about the stitches and cumbersome bandage on the back of his head? He lied and said he fell while getting out of his pool. But what about Heloise? How did she justify the many nights she was away from home? Lucius never asked.

"You're giving them credit for the brain cells they don't have, Heloise." He muttered. "They won't figure it out on their own. As far as I'm concerned, it's none of their business anyway."

Lucius felt the bed move and Heloise sit behind him.

"Why do you have to get mad every time I mention Jimmy?" She pouted, using her "innocent" voice. That always meant trouble.

"When don't I get irritated when I'm reminded of that cheery nutcase?" He grunted, frown tightening. "And you have to bring him up at the most inconvenient times!"

He tapped a claw on his arm. He heard Heloise giggle.

"I like seeing you mad. Why do I have to keep telling you that?" She traced his ear with her finger. Just when Lucius thought he'd seen all of Heloise's black heart, she'd pull something like this.

He remained silent, glaring at the floor in front of him. Heloise saw that she was losing her partner. Sighing, she quickly cursed her need to see others in misery. But she was learning ways to make Lucius interested again. Pressing herself against his back, Heloise giggled in his ear.

Lucius felt her lush curves against his back and he felt a little piece of him melt.

"Do you still have that tutu, Lucy?" She asked him. "Why don't you crack it out and do a little dance for me?"

Lucius pinched his eyes shut but he couldn't help a grin from spreading over his face.

"I thought we buried _that_ hatchet." He glanced back at her. Heloise just grinned at him.

"So you _don't_ have that pink tutu anymore? Didn't it have some sort of bead-work down the front?" She added, pulling him back to the center of the bed. "I remember that the tights didn't flatter your legs."

"No." He returned, letting himself lie on his back and Heloise crawl on him. "There were beads on the tutu. There were _feathers_ down the front."

A wavy, suppressed smile came on her mouth. She bit down her laughter.

"I don't remember the feathers." Heloise snickered. Lucius rolled his eyes.

"I do. They itched." He eyed her. "And if the _tights_ were the only thing that bothered you about that outfit, I don't know what to say."

Finally Heloise laughed.

"Touché, Lucy." She stuck her tongue out. "Now shut up and kiss me."

And he did. His body pressed into the sheets by the girl's weight, Lucius felt himself drift off again. A month ago, if someone was to tell him that he'd be splayed out over a bed while Heloise knocked him up, he'd likely call them insane. But now everything seemed perfect and in place. Heloise wasn't the spoiled, mouthy lackey he once thought her as; now she was his lovely, talented and evil bedmate. And come to think of it, he wasn't the same monster he was a month ago either. For once, Lucius was happy outside of his office.

Heloise watched Lucius close his eyes under her. He and such a pussy cat when he was in her arms. She'd never seen her boss like this before but she wouldn't miss it. Heloise knew that he loved her. The same could be said of her. For the first week of their new relationship, it was touch and go. Though they never spoke about it, they wordlessly agreed to take things slow. For one, this was Heloise's first real romantic liaison and second, because of their often volatile personalities. But candlelight dinners eventually gave way to old movies at Lucius's house. The coy waves turned into farewell kisses. Reserved hugs transformed into cuddling. And then one Thursday night, everything changed.

Heloise remembered it vividly. They had dinner, like usual. They went back to his place to watch an old movie. Expecting some black-and-white western, Lucius dropped in a famous romance film. As the movie progressed and the hero and damsel fell into each other's arms, Heloise found herself scooting closer to Lucius. Somehow she's climbed into his personal space. Their eyes met and held a silent conversation. They cuddled then kissed and then things escalated. Lucius flaunted his experience and left Heloise speechless. The next thing she knew, Lucius's suit jacked opened and the front of his shirt was undone. She remembered that her dress became inexplicably heavy and irritating; maybe because it was a barrier between her and his naked skin. Clothes spilled onto the floor and, as the movie flickered, they met each other on his couch.

She woke up the next morning curled up in bed with Lucius, his claws draped over her belly. The night came back to her in sketchy images of heavy breathing, pleasurable sensations and two bodies coiled together. But then she saw Lucius's twisted smile and that was all the confirmation she needed. Heloise punched him and got ready for work. Skip to a month later and here she was, in the same position she was on that fateful Thursday night. Well, not exactly the same; she was on top this time.

Yet another black-and-white film played on the television. This time, a thriller. Heloise sat there, back against many fluffy throw pillows as she inwardly criticized the villain. Where was the style? The finesse? Was there not a good villain anymore? Her thoughts must have surfaced on her face because when Lucius came walking up to her, he laughed.

"You should see the look on your face." He commented, sitting on the couch with a glass of wine spinning in his hand. Heloise didn't take her eyes off of the TV screen.

"That guy left a trail of clues a mile wide!" She gestured. "You'd have to be dumb and blind not to see that he killed that woman!"

A silence from Lucius that made Heloise look over at him.

"The movie's not even done yet. Are you so sure that he's the murderer?" The red, short, devil-like monster held to a smug smirk. Heloise frowned before she looked back at the screen.

"Yeah, well… He's the perfect stoolie for a murder, anyway." She huffed. The couch shifted and then Lucius leaned against her, his head on her shoulder.

Heloise looked between the movie, her boyfriend and the glass of wine in his hand.

"You'll love the ending, my dear." He said, closing his eyes. "I know I did."

"Let me guess." Heloise again touched his ear. "Guy fights to prove his innocence and gets the girl at the end?"

A smile spread over Lucius's face.

"Yup." He returned. "The real killer is caught and confesses to the murder after the epic struggle with the hero."

"Then why are we watching something so predictable?" Heloise questioned. Lucius's grin remained.

"Because I'm more interested in spending time with my lovely girlfriend." He answered. Heloise smiled.

"Classic date move, Mr. Heinous." She told him.

"Guilty as charged, my dear." He returned. "Do I ever tell you how much I like that goofy little smile of yours?"

"And did I ever tell you how much I like it when you stop talking." Heloise quipped. Lucius opened his dark eyes.

"Kissing me is the only way to shut me up." A dirty smile came over him. "You should know that by now."

Heloise rolled her eyes and leaned forward. They kissed. The taste of bitter wine mingled in their mouths. But life in Miseryville couldn't be sweeter for a tyrant and an evilly-inclined girl.

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Well, I hope it was as fun to read as it was to write. And as I end yet another fic, alls I have to say is this: Review! LONG LIVE.... ROCK AND ROLL!!


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